going going...

gone.

sick.
ick.

shoulda known burn-out was imminent.
trying to get all nice and caught up at work...
the going home to crawl into bed.

boo hiss.

ciao for now lovelies.

scattered

you ever have days/stages when you just feel scattered? just all over the place. i have about 5 million things to do and ideas bouncing around in my head, and yet if i even start one of those things on my list it gets left unfinished because i get distracted and run off to do something else...

i currently have a one-tenth sorted iPhoto gallery (one of my projects this weekend is to back up my pix on DVD...5000 is too many if anything were to happen), played with some images in Photoshop for printing, started some research, left a scrap page half-finished, a CJ entry half-finished, cleaning/organizing of the scrap stash half done, half-cleaned the bathroom (how is that even possible...why would you want to prolong this task gen!??), a pile of work on my desk to go in to tomorrow morning...it just goes on. My poor brain is crammed all full of partially-finished things! Time to regroup...

i figured that maybe if i sat down at the computer to write about it maybe it would help me gather my thoughts and started getting things done. HA! i'll probably get sucked into the damn machine now and not move all day. but then, if i did that, i would burn the pasta sauce that is bubbling away on the stove! so i guess i better cut the post short (leave yet another thing unfinished) and go stir that sauce.

but...but...i also have so many fun photos from this weekend that i want to share....

help!!!!!

my first dare and more

the latest in Dare Land is up and available for perusal...
what do you think?



here is mine...



in other news: deadlines deadline deadlines.
i'm curious -
why are people who want to make cds & dvds always so far behind the 8ball?
it makes their life difficult.
it makes our lives difficult.
it makes the lives of the people @ the plant difficult.
it makes NO sense!
our motto:
do NOT book your CD release party/show/conference/whatever before you have your discs in hand!!!!
do people listen to our oh-so-wise motto?
not generally, no they don't
just one of the bits and pieces making my life exhausting this week.

but this little gem just this minute came out of j's mouth:
(is awake at 11:30pm because he's getting sicko so is lying on the couch watching the discovery channel w/ d woo hoo good cozy couch times)
"sometimes i watched that before.
when i was sixteen years old!"
-jaxon @ 4 years old.
(d and i LOST it, of course)

also in the good news section:
i had so much fun tonight w/ renee.
this girl has a heart of gold.
so generous and beautiful and kind.
so glad to have her as a friend.

alright. time for a few cheetos (yep - 24 hr shopper's drug mart came in handy renee! lol) and a good night's sleep.

the boy can ride!!

i emerged from the pits today early enough to get to take j out for a little ride.
just me and him. so nice.
and his training wheels are officially OFF.
super exciting!
he is just so good...lil thing.
got this from the weekend...
just 3 days ago...
when he was still learning if you can believe that.
i's a proud & happy mama today.

disappearing into the pits of hell

also known as: work without a receptionist/$ person for a whole week...
i'm gonna work my butt off today and hopefully get all miraculously caught up so that i don't have to disappear for the whole entire week never to be seen or heard from again for the whole week... :P
i am desperate to blog and pea but just freakin CAN'T right now...
hope to later...just know i DO love you i DO!!!!
back to the pits....wish me luck.

eeeeeek!

the rest of the world awakes much earlier than west coast me...tee hee!
have a peek-see... here

this is exciting for me.
i have believed in what all of these talented and thought-provoking ladies put together...from day one.
all of them.
i LOVE the idea of getting inspiration from all around...from real life.
this is very exciting for me.

thank you thank you thank you.
i feel blessed today by life.

wanna see...

...what i got for v-day?
dren took some inspiration from the g(s) layout i was in the process of making...
cut up some of his own chester paper and came up with this:


and wrote something soooooper sweet inside too (of course).
and wanna hear something funny?
i had spent a bunch of time the night before cutting out bits and pieces for my layout.
i walked in the door tuesday after work and just about flipped my lid...
i thought he used MY bits and pieces!
goes to show how presumptious i can be.
i thankfully kept my mouth shut long enough to actually walk over to the table and take a closer look.
doh!
what a wonderful wife i am...ick.
but i'm workin on it...i am.

oh, and here's the g(s) page (vegas3:g2&g1):


happy thursday loves!
2 more work days then the weeeeekend!

self-talk#3

they say people in your life are seasons
and anything that happens is for a reason

-kanye west, hear 'em say (feat. adam levine)

happy valentine's day everyone.

check it!!!

apears to be up for preorder now in cyberworld...
this is just SO exciting my friends!!!
and i'm so so so so happy to be able to share.

to scrap?

or not to scrap?
that is the question.

hmmmm...it's 11:24.
i just went thru my BOS of PEAS.
WOW there is some A M A Z I N G stuff in there.
i'm feeling inspired.
but yeah...it's kinda late.
hmmm
am i tired?
or am i inspired?

hmmmm.............................

my house is a pit

today will be cleaning and grocery shopping day.
seriously...it's gotten to the point where i just can't ignore it anymore.

i was at this point where i would consider cleaning and organizing my scrap area because it's becoming just so disorganized and messy, but every day the urge to create would overcome that urge to clean. i do LOVE scrappin in a clean space. so inspiring. so today, since i feel like my house is literally caving in on me (i look to the left of my computer and i see flip-flops, a pile of misc papers that fell, a lint brush, a couple of toys, a toy part, an empty plastic food container, a pillow, a towel, hamburger buns in a bag (WTF????)...and to the right...a towel (used to cover my scanner, but still), a couple more incomplete toys, a basket of toys on MY table (hmmm...mama on the warpath comin up), a shirt that got water spilled on it so it promptly had to come off, three plants that need to be watered, photo paper that has to be put away, my vitamin container that needs to be filled up, glasses cleaner rag thingy, and a couple of nail polish bottles (jaxon is obsessed w/ nail polish these days).

nuff said. time to clean.

boss lady

guess what I heard last night when Dren was brushing J's teeth?

D: "Do you know who the REAL boss around here is?"
J: "What?"
D: "The real boss. Do you know who the real boss is?"
J: "No."
D: "Mummy. She's the boss around here."

YEAH BABY!!!!!
just one of the guzzillion reason i love this man.

yeah baby!

it stayed with me...
all the way till 11pm when i finally got to sit down.

quite possibly the worst of all my vegas pix.
tee hee...

OH! and i almost forgot!

Dren paaaaaaaaassed!!!!
Yippee!!!
Now to find him a job.
But for the time being, that stress is o-vah.

so much better +

thank you.
thank you for your kind comments, emails, thoughtful wishes.

as i wrote elsewhere earlier...things always look brighter by the light of day.
and what a LIGHT-filled and gorgeous day. crisp and breezy. blue sky. sunshine.
i'm so lucky in this life.
today i remember something my mama said last night.
it was in reference to my dad's mid-life crisis or whatever the hell is going on with him.

doesn't he know how lucky we are?
he has to know how wealthy we are.
we have two beautiful houses.
we have a family...children...grandchildren.
we have money in the bank.
we have friends.
we are so lucky.

it's a much more optomistic mood today my friends.
i'm tempted to NOT check my email today when i get home.
go straight into play mode.
so feeling the need to create.
there is SO much inspiration out there.
oh yeah. plus, i have 3 circle journals sitting at home.
and 3 more on their way to me.
i think between kathy and i we are holding up about 29 people.
suffice to say, the procrastination resolution is not going so well.
but hey...sometimes things get in the way.
you deal with them, you move on.

i realize i have done NOTHING with vegas pix yet.
haven't shared.
haven't scrapped em.
must do so. and feeling like doing so.
YES!

love yall...

i'm sorry to report

disclaimer: i might ramble...sorry.

it's been another tough evening.
the day was OK.
i got an email tonight from my dad.
i'm not sure i would normally share this, but to be honest my emotions are so raw right now that i feel like writing and crying might be therapeutic. somehow writing to share is easier and comes more easily...sharing with people who care...
some of you might know that i have two sisters. they're actually my half sisters, but we're so close that i don't introduce them as, "this is my half-sister aley/rhi"...i just call them my sisters. they don't biologically belong to my father, but he's treated them as his. they also have a relationship with their dad, so it's not like my dad took the place of theirs. they call him by his name, tony. a year ago something happened that totally rocked our family and put my parent's relationship on the rocks officially after 30 years of marriage. for a year they have struggled...tried, sought therapy, fought, communicated, made an effort. let's not pretend they had a perfect marriage up until that point - not true by any means. this was only the symptom of the real problems lying deep below the surface of what they called marriage. this little bit of background might help you understand the email below a little more.

email from dad:
Subject: Update
Not a happy one, I'm afraid. There's no easy way to say it. I've decided to live alone, at least for the present. Annie has graciously agreed to stay in Vancouver until we make a final decision. I'm afraid that at least to begin with you are all likely to see this as selfish on my part, and grossly unfair to your mother. I want you to know that's pretty much the way I see it too, although Annie doesn't agree with 'unfair', that's because she's so scrupulously honourable and fair herself, among her other fine and lovely attributes.

You might wonder, since she's so terrific, why I don't want to live with her. Sometimes I have to wonder myself. But I'm afraid that at the moment I can see no other way to a completely honest future, together or apart, than by being separate now.

If you want to write to me, or call, I'll be genuinely happy to talk to you or write back. If you don't want to do any of that for now, I completely understand. I love you all.

t/d
/end email from dad

so i read it. i don't think i've even read it all yet. i saw it, i realized my mum was in town almost at the minute i read it, and called her. my sister aley was over. we had gone for a brisk walk (yay - exercise!) before having dinner all together. mum was bringing stuff in from the car to her house (she takes a ferry from saturna island...their "retirement" place). we hung up. i got sad. really truly sad. i'm just so sad. she called back when she was done unloading and talked to aley. aley got sad. it was an evening of hugs and tears in my house. i said to her..."i really want to be with mum...i want to take her flowers and for her to not be alone...i want to give her a hug". so we did. we went to safeway. we got her three bright bright primulas - all different gorgeous colours. then we wanted to make sure she had snacks and food. we got her a croissant for the morning. crackers, cheese, butternut squash soup, carrots, apples, grapes, milk...

so we took the goods to her and she smiled so large. we both gave her huge hugs and i promptly burst into tears. but it was good to just know she was ok. to be able to get that hug...for myself...not just to be able to give her one. i realized as much as i wanted to do for her...she was doing for me. we have a strong bond, her and i. i'm glad we three got to sit and talk.

i am so confused. i am so upset. i am so mad. at every turn of events my brain patterns shift. i'm reminded all of a sudden that this is happening. it has been a year of emotional turmoil. i feel such extreme sadness for my mama. i feel like i might be mourning my relationship with my father. i have realized how little of a relationship i have with my father.

sharing feels ok. writing is therapeutic. so is the l a r g e glass of wine that dren just placed in front of me. if nothing else i am learning some lessons that my parents could have stood to learn 30 years ago. i appreciate my husband so much right now.

thank you so much for listening if you have made it to this point.

monday...

back to work day...
i thought holidays were supposed to leave you feeling refreshed and ready for work again?
not so.
damn!

oh well.
the sun is shining.
i am alive and breathing.

OH!
dren's class 1 driving test is today...in TWO hours.
he neeeeeds to pass so he can get a job.
send good luck vibes, K?

love love love to everyone on this...sigh...monday.

xoxo

last night

so while i'm mostly obsessed with my recent trip to vegas and all things vegas and my pictures and oh yeah getting settled back into home life and figuring out how to tell the whole vegas story in pictures when my iPhoto will NOT cooperate...i just wanted to share with you what i did last night.

my sister and i finally made and kept a date. it was really nice to spend time with her and catch up and have some fun. aley and i do this weird connect/disconnect thing every once in a while and it feels good to be connected again. she scored some free tickets to an art opening last night at the vancouver art gallery. the artist's name is brian jungen and he is amazing. a local vancouver aboriginal artist who has become famous for making traditional native masks from nike athletic shoes.



how cool is that!!??

you can read more about him and the show here...
http://www.vanartgallery.bc.ca/exhibitions_brianjungen.cfm
(sorry - too lazy to link properly...is there an easy way to do it??)

vegas is crazy!

I still need more time for it all to sink in.
but in the meantime.
so glad i went.
LOVE the ladies i met.
every single one. LOVE YOU!!!
yummy goodies.
crazy vegas.

everything in life being difficult for meghan rubbing off on me...
LOOK:

ACTUAL leaving time?
10:45pm


arrival time?
1:45am

ahhhh. home sweet home.

looking forward to sharing more pix and details a little later.
mmmmmwah!