december 29

i so miss blogging. and i miss lots of people too.
the holidays...times of love, joy, peace...always seem to creep up on me and then explode all over the place and then be gone in a split second. leaves me feeling spin-headed and much less-prepared than i had originally thought i was about 2 weeks ago.

10:22pm: just returned from jaxon's room, "putting the children to bed" for about mmm...the past FOURTY-FIVE minutes? (cousins Ella and Sophie are staying over, as well as Carmichael. The room is crowded indeed).

10:32pm: i hear Dren going in with the stern father voice. Yeah baby!

Our Christmas was OK. Christmas is getting different for me...I'm getting to be an adult I guess. We have always celebrated with my family. Dren's family is all on the East Coast...in Toronto. I think he wanted to go there one year and I gave him a look of complete horror. What!?? Leave my family?? At Christmas??? This year was the first year I thought to myself: Hmmm...Maybe it would be nice to visit his family at Christmas. Not that anything unbearable is going on with my family...it's just different. It's the first year I've had to do two Christmases. That kinda sucked. My sisters invited their dad and grandma to dinner. I swear to god right now I feel like I could write a soap-opera out of my life right now and I alwaysalways thought that I had the "normal" family.

Onwards and forwards. I had an awesome conversation with my mum about it all and it made me feel better. I actually have my own family now, and I can start new traditions. I can carry on the ones that make me happy, and I can take the things that have changed, process the changes, and deal with the sadness. But honestly...it's pretty fuckin weird when your family splits and completely changes at thirty years old.

The past two days have been spent moving my art&scrap stuff and my office from the dining "room" (it's so not even a room) and the living room to our third bedroom and moving D's "ofice" as Jax calls it to a little "manspace" in the living room. It's working famously so far, but I have such a ton of stuff to go through and cram into that little room. Where was it hiding before? Oh right...that's why we haven't eaten at the dining room table in about a year. So, lots to do but feels SO good for now. Dren loves the living room (he's got the movie channels now) and I love having my own space. Oh, and I love not wanting to throttle my child because he came in screaming and carrying on while I'm on the phone with a client. I have an office - hooray!

11:02pm: I realize I think I finally hear silence. Victory.

Goodfellas is on. I love this movie. Loving the reruns and movies due to the writer's strike. Feeling for the writers. Hell yeah they should receive royalties! Hell-OH???

I got a Palm. I love him. So much. wow. You all probably know how I drowned my Palm Treo in beer, yeah? So I have been whining ever since how I don't have peoples' numbers in one place, I don't know where anyone lives at a moment's notice, and above all, I don't have reminders and I don't have my calendar. Boohoo. I have a new cell - I had to pay $70 and they could hook me up under the current contract. Whatever. But ever since I have missed the features I used on that lovely phone...and so I asked Dren for replacement pages for my Dayplanner for Christmas. He said "OK...don't tell anyone else that idea...that is what I'm getting you." I'm thinking "Great, awesome gift babe...thanks for the surprise and can't wait". But of course...we all know Dren. The gift was a Palm Tungsten something or other with a wireless keyboard included!!! I can be all business-y and get back all those things I have missed so much and I don't need the phone because I already have one! But I gotta get it synched with my computer this time. Uh yeah.

It really takes a long time to go through art supplies and scrap stuff. Really. A lot of it is total crap but for the simple sake that it must be useful to someone at sometime just makes me hold onto it that little bit later. You know? Earlier tonight Colleen was here. Her sister got Carmichael a kitten for Christmas and so Colleen brought her down to introduce her to Sophie and Ella. And Colleen loves free stuff! So I went through 4 boxes of stuff and reduced it to not even one box. Then the useful stuff that she didn't want I put into a separate box to donate to Jaxon's daycare. SWEET!

And now I'm looking up at a stand my dad made me many years ago so I could sell cards at craft fairs. It's gorgeous...of course. Everything he does is incredibly beautiful and well-thought out. It has plexi-glass fronts so you can see the cards through. I think I'll make little art pieces of something or other to put in the spots. That will be fun.

xog