here

Here I am. Alive and well. Here we are, almost one week to the day of Dren's surgery. It feels like perhaps a month could have passed by now. I've joked to people that I feel like Florence Nightingale. As soon as I've finished doing something for Jax or feeding him or putting a load of laundry in, there is an errand to run. As soon as I'm back from the store, Dren needs to move or eat or drink or perhaps have a DVD popped in. But truth be told, I'm happy and feeling fulfilled. We've had tons of offers of help and support, and it all means the world. I've received emails and messages of encouragement that are so uplifiting...it's amazing how you can gain strength from a few simple words.

Last night I managed to sneak out for a few hours with some friends. We checked out Me & Julio, a new restaraunt our friends Shelome opened. Incredible. YUM. Chicken tacos, tacquitos, ribs, steak, quesadillas...all mexican with a completely modern flair. The interior is amazing with massive tables and a bar all hand-made and designed by the brother-sister team of owners/operators. And the drinks?? All custom cocktails (think Pink Taco, Pineapple Mint Tequila Fizz, Likitiki...the list goes on for about 7 more). My, my...between the 5 of us, we were able to try all but 3. Oh well...I guess we'll have to go back. It was nice to have a break, but part of my mind was constantly elsewhere - back at home, hoping the boys were behaving, hoping Dren had the co-op phone list handy in case something came up in a hurry. We were only 6 blocks away, which is definitely one of the contributing factors in me deciding I could do it. When we got home I was glad to be there. It's where I feel I belong right now.

Speaking of being at home...I'm slowly but surely getting caught up with work/working from home. I have been a bit all over the place during the last week - visiting the hospital almost every day and dealing with Jax and trying to fit in as many work hours as possible. But I'm doing it, and I'm seeing the light. And it feels really good. I hope it continues to work, and I hope this is what I was waiting for in terms of "when things slow down". I now have limited responsibility in a much larger company, and I hope for me that means more mental space to think about and do the other stuff in my life that I like to do...and grow my own business.

But for now, one day at a time. I'm here, and I'm alive. We're here, together as a family and we're making it. We're going to experience a huge test starting a week ago. Dren is literally in a straight-leg splint and can't comfortably move from bed right now. Sometimes Jax is great, and sometimes he doesn't really understand, but we're all coping the very best that we can, and so far so good. D seems about 80% better than he did yesterday (managed to get him in the shower, brush his teeth, etc...all the things we take for granted everyday). Mum made soup for us and we celebrated Rhi's birthday today with a lunch at her house.

Day by day, minute by minute...we're here.
And here we are.

xog