thinking, reflecting and processing.

Today, i read in ali's life artist newsletter about melody ross's blog. I checked it out, and was impressed with the open direction she has taken. Talking about the real, the raw, the difficult stuff, right alongside the good stuff. Well, hey...really, it's all good isn't it?

Since reading, I've been thinking. I don't want to leave out the mad, bad and sad (to quote Melody). I rarely journal these days, except for here and in my scrapbooks. Although there are people reading this (and that's what makes it different from a book that I keep in my underwear drawer or wherever), I do feel a certain sense of anonymity. I don't always know WHO is reading...and while I totally appreciate when people leave comments...(it is part of why I do this online instead of in a private notebook)...I am really doing this because I get something out of notating my life this way. I am so happy to be keeping a regular journal of any kind. It's easy to do, and it's fun. But I do want it to be a true reflection of who I am, not just the latest project, photo, or cute thing my kid did. I want to look back at my archives and remember TRULY what was going on...what I was thinking about life, and what I was feeling.

Not only do I want to look back and remember the truth...I want my family to know the truth about me.

I do have a story to share...a burden in my life that I haven't shared completely (there have been hints along the way, mind you) and I think I'm getting closer to writing it down. I'm a procrastinator, you see...and so I can always find an excuse to leave it for later. But really, I'm just scared. I'm getting closer though. Definitely. And honestly...I think a huge weight will be lifted if I can just figure out what to say and how to say it.

onesday, twosday...

Must scrapbook this, but for now i'll document it quickly here so i don't forget. This morning Jaxon and I are talking, and it takes me a minute to clue in.

J: "is it Tuesday today?"
me: "yes"
J: is it show-and-tell day today?
m: yes
J: you know what (insert some unintelligible garbled words here) call it?
m: what?
J: ONESday
m: huh? who said that?
J: me.
m: sorry...what did you say?
J: onesday...
m: OOOHHHHH....ONESday, TWOsday...
J: (smiles) yeah!
m: THREESday, FOURsday, FIVEsday...
J: SIXday...SIXday is SATURDAY.
m: you're good...that's really good!

and we have a little giggle.

351

351. The number of photos taken yesterday. A fine, fine day.

I'm falling in love with photography, and last night was the first time I have mentioned outloud possibly upgrading my camera since I upgraded last, exactly one year ago. Hmmm. Dangerous. It won't be happening for a while, that's for sure. For now, my lil Canon Powershot S2IS is suiting me just fine with its 12x zoom and beautiful shots (as long as there's enough light). But I can only imagine what the results might be with a finer machine. Imagination is good, right? :)

We headed down to Jericho Beach and the surrounding fields to play softball and hang out.

First, some of us went for a stroll on the beach:


The view of downtown from the beach:


A container ship (yes, this is the reason, amongst others, why the waters are BROWN) in the waters just off the beach, with the North Shore in the distance:


We headed back to our spot at the baseball field.
I didn't get a shot of the fish & chips from the beach concession. Damn they were good. I haven't eaten fish & chips in a LONG time. Yum.

Meet Chantal:


And dirty Jaxon:


They played bacci:


J shows off his belly button(he was actually showing me his mosquito bites):


Chantal offers me a blueberry:


J shows me the maple leaf he picked for me:


Meet Jade (The parents of this girl are in danger of losing her when I decide to proceed with my plot to kidnap her)(don't worry, I've informed them of my plan):


And her cousin, Cheyeanne, who is beautiful, sweet, and takes such wonderful care of her:


Jades brother, Nicholas:


And other brother, Nathan:


Uncle E:


Molly (take note: Coach collar !!??? Hee hee):


Friend Tracy and sister (aunty) Aley:


Chantal being cute:


D being silly:


Aley & J play ball:


Aley & J write notes to eachother in the sand. J's note says "you are the best aunty ever".:


The boys play bacci:


D being a hottie:


And a couple more of the beauties:




After shooting like crazy yesterday and having some cooperative (and some not so) subjects, I thought it would be really great to take photos of families for a living. But of course, I would need to upgrade for THAT to happen ;)

Hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend.

oh finally finally...

getting my groove back (i think).
life has been so busy, and i haven't been creating.
then i try, and i can't. it just doesn't come.
but i'm feeling it again. hopefully more this weekend.
i relaxed and went with the flow for this week's DARE.
the page is a bit strange...a bit fragmented...
but that's what seems to happen when i'm trying to get back into the swing of things.

SO happy it's friday. i hope you are too.
LOVES!




(it's readable, ya?)

colourful, fun, yummy weekend

*...can i just say that i kind of left out a part of the description of the situation with jaxon in yesterday's post. right before i yelled at him, he hit me. hard. i am totally not justifying my reaction or my behaviour (hello, adult), but i read back what i wrote and realized it sounded a little more one-sided than it was. the rest of yesterday and this morning were great. we talked about it again last night and he's (so far - ha!) been listening really well. (exhale)

i know it's wednesday (already!), but i'm still on a high from our long weekend.
we mostly hung around home, but that is such a joy in and of itself.
we have fabulous neighbours in our building...really good friends.
there are lots of kids who get along and play together.
scooters, skateboards, bikes, running, toys, water...it all went on this weekend.
one of the adult friends is a chef.
runs a resaurant specializing in modern mexican...the menu is to die for.
she's been doing a whole lotta cookin for a group of us...YUM.
on sunday we had a BBQ...steak, potatoes, corn, and the best part of all
(that was not cooked on the actual grill)
CRAB (x14)
mmmm.

good times. such good times.
i LOVE summer.
cool dragonfly lights huh?

wake up call

this morning i got SO frustrated with jaxon.we had a fight.i lost my temper.i feel really awful.

he's been going through this testing-the-waters/independence thing; we have to ask him to do things at least 3 times...usually more like 4 or 5. it's really hard to deal with. i've been making sure to pull him aside and explain in a calm and rational way how important it is that he listens to us, and that he acknowledge what we say with "yes" or "no" or at least some sort of indication that he is not just being incredibly rude and ignoring us. each time, it seems like it's sunk in. then it happens again. NOT GOOD when it's morning and we're already rushing (well, ok, i'm the only one rushing) to get out of the house.

by time #3 this morning, i was done. i totally lost my temper and yelled right in his face and there were big, real, you-hurt-my-feelings tears (his, not mine...not yet). i took a deep breath and felt the guilt set in like a load of bricks. we sat and talked and i held him and apologized and then all was well. i need to practice patience or figure out a different technique or something. because if this behaviour is going to continue (which i seriously hope it doesn't) i will have to deal with it differently.

on the way to school, we made a plan to do something fun together. i asked him to pick something special for just the two of us to do next saturday. after reviewing the days of the week via the days of the week song that taught him the names of the days, we got back on track and he chose for him and mama to go to the park. i can't wait.

happy 4th to all my US buddies! (i'm working, but had yesterday off for canada day, which was saturday, so happy belated canada day as well!) i'll post about my awesome weekend later...after my temporary bad parent guilt fades.

today is her day

i *heart* my g1.
"met" her randomly thru cyber-pea-scrap-blog-dom.
briefly (so briefly it never really happened) battled over the "g".
she became the g1 to my g2. i became the g2 to her g1.
whatever way you look at it, we bonded.
bonded before we met.
then we met.
i don't even think we really knew it or expected it.
but it happened.
and i'm so grateful.
she twinkles like a star.
i love my g1.
happy birthday g1!!!



and p.s. i couldn't help but post an ode to the ass photo. g1 has such a cute lil behind, and such cute jeans...i couldn't help it. and i AM going to scrap it still. i just haven't figured out the perfect page for it yet. this butt needs a brilliant plan. (we love her)

friday & a long weekend

yeah baby!!!
i should be getting ready for work right now.
why does time seem to FLY in the morning?

but i quickly gotta post today's DARE.
i seem to have the cutting-out-of-patterned-paper obsession these days.
the paper looks at me and screams "cut me up right now!!!"
and i think between that and cutting rubber stamps (yay purple onion!!) i'm damaging a nerve in my thumb.

happy friday all!

today, jaxon drew a planet.

on himself.
stayed home sick.
with daddy.
'nuff said.
washable markers?
NO.
dollar store markers.
bought by mother-in-law from toronto.

i know, it's a large planet.
but, he assures me it IS a planet.
it extends from his belly
to his back
to his arms
to his hands
there's a little planet residue on his face too.
ahhhh the life.

sticky

& sweaty, with a side of kiwi & strawberry cider.
seriously. woah. it's hot.
i wonder if it's actually a different hot or if i'm different?
is there some sort of body change, similar to menopause with its hot flashes, that women go through around 28? i'm mean...EW.
so besides being disgustingly hot, i'm good.
i totally love my life right now...there's just not quite as much time to sit around and reflect on that fact as i'd like. but oh well, right? i mean...it's summer!

i do wish i could have taped this guy on the bus the other day though, and played it for you here. he was a spiritual NUT (and i mean, like, takentoomuchacidfreakishcrazykindanut) who kept rambling on, kinda like he was preaching to his dear sweet companion, but in the voice and tone and using the intellect of oh say...i don't know...maybe one of the dudes from bill & ted's excellent adventure!? or some other dumb-as-a-post talker. uhh...yeah. duuuuude.

"so...like...you know...there's like these computer chips deep down inside us you know...and like...even though our destinies are like totally predetermined and all...your path is ready for you to follow....it's all laid out in front of you like a rainbow...like well...you know...you think you're making a choice, but you're like totally not making a choice you know...it's like you're already programmed and like you don't even know what you're going to choose but it's already chosen for you and there's nothing you can really do except you know like sometimes, when you can like go way down deep and really connect with the universe...you can maybe like change that computer chip and reprogram it. you know?" -dude on bus

oh. i know. dude.

oh! well looky here...

it's friday!

i love MG
she is so creative in this totally unique way.
i've tried to emulate her a couple of times and always end up laughing at myself.
she was miss june today over at the dares.
WOW did i have a helluva hard time with this.
but then it popped into my brain and away it flew.
FUN FUN stuff.
i was also busy this week doing wedding invites for some good friends.
i'll have to share as soon as i get one back from her and scan it.
for now, i'll leave you with a little something...
i'm off to a party and hopefully i'll feel like scrapping when i get home!



LOVES!

it's summer!!!

it's the middle of the week. deadlines loom, i've been fighting off a cold (yes, again), getting lots of sleep. still going (fairly) strong with the diet and exercise bizness i've lost about 10 pounds so far and i'm feeling great. believe me...i would NOT continue with this if i didn't feel different. thank goodness for my friend and neighbour and executive chef shelome, who happened to cook us dinner tonight after i whined about not wanting to cook and not wanting to eat the same old salad and chicken AGAIN. we had a delicious meal. lean cut steak, bbq'd of course, asparagus, mushrooms, beans, and a huge chopped salad with home-made dressing and feta. TO DIE for!!! i know it seems like all i think about and talk about is food. well...uhm. that's pretty much true. i thought i was obsessive about food before. yeah, well now it's even worse.

what else? oh! it's the very FIRST day of summer peoples!!! happy summer solstice to all...and i'm off to figure out all what i need to get done.

and the winners are...

uhm so yeah...i hate the fact that i could only pick two for now.
cause seriously...if i could give all of you a book i would.
i lovedlovedloved reading through all of your quotes and my collection is now so much more complete because of them.
so thanks so much for playing!

jaxon was out of commission today...playing hard right up til bedtime.
so i enlisted the help of the larger boy in the house.

he was very into it...made me get shots of the whole process...and boy did he make a production out of it. quite possiby the worst photographs i have ever taken. but hey...whatever right!? did the job. so thanks to my sweetie for helping!






congratulations gloriarose & mel g!!!
please email me w/ your addresses & i'll get the books out to you right quick! (or as close to that as i manage...we all know i'm a procrastinator).

and stay tuned.
i want to give more books away.
this is fun!
i just have to think up something fun to do.

8:56pm. time to wind down.
night all.

it's coming....

just not quite yet :)

i'm leaving work very shortly to go pick the official "picker" up.
we'll hang out for a bit, then i'm going to get the names of all the awesome lovelies who graced my blog w/ their quote-li-ness(es) into a hat (or a box...we shall see) and get the jax to pick a couple names.
yay!

xog

dare day +

i'm LOVING all the quotes you guys...thank you!!!
keep em coming. you have til sunday to post a quote on here and get a chance to win one of two copies of freestyle that i'm giving away. yeah!

here is my DARE because it is, afterall, friday, and that does, afterall, mean it's dare day. this was a really fun one for me. i'm not a huge astrology buff, but it sparks my interest for sure, so it was kinda cool looking into my sign a bit more. i am fascinated by how the traits and characteristics of people under different signs are so often SO true. a few of mine hit really close to home.

ok. so here it is. and may everyone have a wicked weekend.
peace out homettes (are there any homies who read this? i don't think so)
LOVE g!

freeeeestylin' babies!

freestyle is not only the first book i've ever been published in, but is the first time i've been published. period. when i first started scrapbooking in my clean and simple way back in february of 2005, i had no clue where it would take me or how much it would add to my life. in fact, i didn't even have a clue how big the industry was, or how far its arms reached. i was absolutely floored when asked to participate in a book for Autumn Leaves. again, no clue what it would be like or what "working" in the industry meant. i struggled a lot with being assigned themes/topics/colours/etc. i felt like i was pressured and didn't produce my best work. but what an amazing opportunity. what a lot of lessons i've learned. i will always treasure this as my first working experience. for these reasons and many more, i was so excited to receive my copies of the book. they were quickly given to friends and family, with some loved ones left out. this can't be! i ordered more :)

so now i have some leftovers, and i want to share.

i've met such awesome people and friends and supporters through cyberland and bloggin over the past year+ ...thank you. since there appears to be some interest in this book that's so special to me, i'm going to have some fun with you. i'm not sure yet how many books i'll have to give away, but as i figure it out, i'll let you know.

today, i would LOVE for you to share a favourite quote. i'm all about the quotations. i love em. so will you please share with me?

each person who posts a quote for me to add to my collection will get their name into a draw (i will enlist the completely unbiased and random third party services of Jaxon, Inc. for the drawing), and for this first little contest i'll give away two books.

how does that sound? wanna play?

then bring on the quotes people! you have until sunday night at midnight west coast canada time. so excited!

is there anyone reading this who...

...doesn't have freestyle yet?
you know what i'm talking about right?
i feel the urge to give a book away.

i wonder how i shall do this.
hmmmmm......

more from camp england

for fun.
cause i just can't resist.

world cup

soccer fever all over the world,
and right here at home.

even better

than a fish burrito.
home-made pizza.
awwww yeah.

tomato sauce
pesto
caramelized onions
sauteed mushrooms, peppers & italian sausage
fine herb chevre
and plenty of mozzarella

YUM.
love cheat day!

friday..yes.
a bit late posting the dare for the day.
but man oh man...
loving thepurple onion product.
michele sent me some goooorgeous product to play with.
and play i will!

so close

to falling of the wagon today. i mean, i've cheated on my diet up to this point...don't get me wrong. BUT i've kept everything in moderation. i really honestly truly think that today was one of those make it or break it days. where i could have truly fallen and not gotten up. i wanted a fish burritto from taco del mar more than just about anything in the entire universe. it was making me SO grumpy. colleen (my diet & exercise partner in crime) was NO HELP. she wanted one too. ha ha!

then.

we looked it up online. over 1000 calories in one of those suckers.
oh
my
lord.
that is a whole lotta lovin.
girls...i love food.
i just do.
i wanted one.
SO BAD. (did i say that already???)
but dudes...it's tuesday! cheat day is friday! i knew i wouldn't make it through.
besides...i've had a couple of glasses of vino here and there...i just knew that if we didn't push through this ginormous brick wall that we would be done for. SO. in went the chicken..bawk bawk. off i went to safeway to fill j's prescription, return the balsamic vinegar that dren purchased yesterday for 20 something dollars and get a somewhat more moderately priced option, and pick up whole wheat organic tortillas to make our own wraps. (and i got change...like 7 bucks plus). dinner comin in at under 500 calories for the whole meal people. hell yes. i don't relly count calories or anything, but watching what i eat has definitely made me much more aware of what i'm putting into my body. that, my friends, is a VERY good thing. especially with the way my thighs and belly were expanding. and most importantly, i'm FEELING BETTER. i no longer feel like i'm getting "old". i have more energy. i'm still pretty cranky from time to time...i think it's a 5:30 lack of sustanance thing though.

anyway, enough ranting and raving from this end of the world. i want to get my scrap on. yes, again.

i think i might have a fish burritto on friday.

loveLOVElove!
g