me::today

She Out.

2008-03-01T20:34:00.000-08:00

I've taken a flying leap over to Typepad. You can find me here.

tiny little creative in a madmad day

2008-02-13T23:46:00.000-08:00

f PLUS w

2008-02-12T16:55:00.000-08:00

Home sweet home!

I had a lot of fun in Cali and working the F+W booth and class was great. Everything went well except for the fact that I left all the prep stuff for the *very* cute demo in a folder on my desk at home. I realized it on the plane to Cali and promptly ordered a gin & tonic and resisted crying. I thought perhaps there was a chance I slipped it into my luggage without even remembering, but when I checked at midnight it really was true. We managed to rig something up by Monday, but it ended up not happening because instead I signed about a gazillion books.

When K & I went to pick up our badges the lady asked us for the company name. "F and W" we answered. She seemed to be having some trouble with the computer and proceeded to pick up a pamphlet. "OH. You mean F PLUS W". We exchange a look and a smile. Another lady says "What was the company name?" We turn our heads in unison "F PLUS W" and burst out laughing.

Awesome sushi and so many funny stories. A lot of laughter and walks through the romantic palm tree forest. Sunshine! So much scrap stuff that I'm feeling all rejuvenated. So good to see scrap buddies. The cutest Claudine and her inky fingers. Converse=best shoes ever for convention center. And the black flats weren't bad either. No camera means I'm relying on Morgan and K to email me photos. So I stole one from K's blog.

A'ight. Back to work.

Gratitude: Seeing my honey's gorgeous face at the airport last night at midnight after 7 hours of airports and travelling.

xog

i can't work

2008-02-08T13:48:00.000-08:00

it's not because i let jaxon and carmichael stay home instead of go to daycare (no school).

it's not because i went to the mall with them so they could use giftcards and get yet another game for their DS(s?)

it's not beause it's a pretty nice day and i'd rather be outside.

it's because of thisbook.

and this magazine.

and this one.

and this one.

i couldn't choose, and i always get to treat myself to magazines for airplane rides.

yipeee!

now the challenge is to save them for the plane. but really, i won't read FOUR on the plane...

xog

Grateful for new rags...

biiiiooootch!

2008-02-06T22:24:00.000-08:00

I know I shouldn't call Ali a biotch, but I can't help it. I've so pared down the blogs that I read. For many reasons, but mostly just to get removed and get my head out of the computer. And also I have zero time available for that stuff. Not only that, but I've completely reduced shopping for scrap supplies. Like months and months (and sometimes months) between trips for anything except adhesive (still addicted to my sweet-ass cheap-ass tombow). And that's nice because every several months I'll reallyreally know what my favourite products were from the last round of releases. Not the current one, but the one before that and sometimes probably the one before that. Then I go and read Ali's blog, thinking perhaps she has a little bit of insightful wonderful inspirational creative tidbit, and instead she's talking about her latest favourite things. BIOTCH. I resist these things! WhatEVER.

OK F&W booth demo prep is complete (totally looking forward to seeing the DareBook larger than life!!) and I'm looking forward to seeing some friends from crazyscrapbookworld. And today we had Indian food for lunch and it was so yummy. Jaxon sprained his ankle yesterday (fell down the stairs and twisted it heading to the cafeteria for lunch) so this morning we went to get x-rays. Not fractured. Thank GOD. Some nice swelling, a good bruise, and a little hobbling. Nothing some TLC can't cure. Also enjoying Momo falling asleep in the perfect position in my lap while I work. So lovely.

OK bedtime. Who knows what tomorrow holds.
Gratitude: for something tomorrow may hold...

xog

sick as a dog

2008-01-29T22:39:00.000-08:00

Where does that saying come from?!? Anyway, that's me. A throat infection that made its way to my stomach. Charming, no? 2nd day of antibiotics and I'm feeling so much better. Do you ever feel like you want to die for a minute when you're that sick? UGH.

Worked til late again today. Trying to catch up (what else is new) and maybe even get ahead so I can get the chance to play this week.

Dren and I have been watching Boston Legal on DVD. We sort of lost track of it when our schedules were off so we're picking it back up that way. Love the no commercials part of watching TV on DVD. I mentioned Parker Posey in my last post and she appeared today in the episode we saw! Neat little coincidence, I thought.

The candle just went out under my "rejuvenation" oil burner. I think that's a good sign it's time for bed.

xog

omg it's late

2008-01-24T00:43:00.000-08:00

just finished a layout job. PHEW. increasing margins and flipping to a new smaller template for a 16 page DVD booklet layout = NOT FUN.

now it's late. need to get some sleep in order to wake up and get more work done.

i am in re-love with PARKER POSEY. hi. she is like, the cutest 30+ish-year-old. Queen of Indie. Need to filmography her immediately and watch everything she's done since the 90s. absolutely adored broken english.

going to Cali in a couple weeks! gonna see K! so 'cited! much to do and figure out. ha! it wouldn't be me if it wasn't in chaos.

paid so many bills this week. billsbillsbills. ick.

gratitude:
dinner with awesome company tonight @ hapa izakaya. too much food and just enough sake and sapporo. so much laughter my cheeks hurt.

that is all...
xog

thrift store boo-yah!!!

2008-01-17T22:22:00.000-08:00

Poor Jax dude has been sick aaaalll week. These headaches keep coming and going...it's the same thing Carmichael had over Friday Saturday Sunday last week. He will go in to school, and call at noon for me to pick him up. Poor little buddy just crashes after expending every last little bit of energy. I kept him home today - he woke up in the middle of the night with a headache, crying. My heart just melts for him when he's sick. Party I feel sorry that he's in pain/discomfort, partly I want to make him feel better, and partly I love that he's kind of needy when he's sick. He's six...he's got boy stuff and friend stuff and lots of stuff to do without mama and so I kind of cherish being able to be close to him when he's sick. He had a great morning, and my friend Selma and I had a date to go to the thrift store today. So he came. It was super fun...he's a bit of a shopper and he wanted to look for cool t-shirts and hoodies. As we were leaving, S spotted brand-spankin new Dior shades in the glass jewellry/camera/sunglass/$5+goods case that also holds the cash register. Serious. And honestly, I usually don't really give a shit about brand names and stuff, but when I put them on and my eyelashes didn't hit the lenses, I was a happy girl. Sometimes you get what you pay for, and if you get really sick Dior glasses that should run you about $200 for $25, it's a good thrift store shoppin day. Then we went to a sushi place. J developed a headache but I thought a good part of it was due to hunger. He eagerly gobbled up a Cali roll (hold the avocado - WHAT!?? is that even my child!??) and had some miso soup and mango ice cream. Perfect sick day, if you ask me. And him.

xog

Ruth! - I can't seem to get contact info for you from the comments - can you please email me!?

she's a tired girl.

2008-01-16T21:51:00.000-08:00

Or feeling old. or both.
A panic attack in the middle of the night (wtf???) and 3 crazy vivid dreams and one restless sleep later......I didn't venture out of bed until 9:30, had to pick Jaxon up sick from school at 12:30, tried to fit in a shower and some work and had a meeting tonight.
Phew.
A much as I'm dying for some creative time, I think I'm just headed to bed with Sudoku on Dren's PSP.
xog

hilarious!

2008-01-15T16:33:00.000-08:00

I had Oprah on today, and she featured a The Container Store for one of the segments. I was immediately in love. Of course we don't have The Container Store here (of coure) but I want it. So I went to the website:

And I had to laugh. And then I thought: "it's a little teeny bit scary how much power Oprah has" I mean, love the girl, but seriously...she probably really could take over the world. Dren used to have a joke that Oprah and Martha are aliens sent to take over the world. I guess Martha got a little sidetracked from her mission. :)

Gratitude is back! (I really think I need it...it works!)
Sooooo very grateful for the first sunny day in a loooong time. Took Momo to the dog park!

meet Momo!

2008-01-14T16:21:00.000-08:00

The ONLY non-blurry photo I've caught so far...

soul-searchin

2008-01-12T21:36:00.000-08:00

I'm really sad about Scrapologie. It was like a scrapbooking touchstone for me...a way to keep in touch with some of my favourite people and artists in this crazy little community. I love scrapbooking...I love it alot. It's just that I've kind of pulled away from it lately, to be honest. I've been in a creative rut in general...Christmas was pretty difficult for me this year. I've been spent emotionally and creatively. I want it back so bad. I've been dabbling in making jewellry again...that's been fun. And so now, as The Scrapologie Era comes to an end, it's a good time to re-group, get re-energized and also just have some time to relax and play for a bit. As you may have read, the dares is gonna take a quick hiatus as well. in support of the writer's strike, you know. and we are BACK with a vengeance on lippity leap year with a whole new bag of tricks.

and in the meantime, i'm having a blast moving into my new office and working out the work/play kinks.

this post via ae so hit home.

today Jaxon and I went to the park with Momo. What an excellent time. Jax insisted on going to the park with the Spiderman climbing thing ...the one that's near to the licker store. It always makes me feel like a fabulous parent when my child lists the "licker store" as a landmark near to the playground. ahem.

I kicked ass cleaning the house tonight. Seriously. Jaxon went up to play with Carmichael and I got busy on the house. De-cluttering, putting things away in the places they belong (such a weird concept, I know). Emptied and refilled and emptied the dishwasher (have I mentioned loving having a dishwasher?) All surfaces sufficiently tidied, candles up in appropriate spots, aromatherapy happening in my office. Ahhhh. Good times. And baaad backpain after!! Am I like 90!?

Jaxon and I are both suffering from exema this winter (at least I think we are!?). It's kind of irritating being itchy and dry all the time.

Alright. 10:54pm and I have just returned from the kitchen, where for some insane reason I felt the need to blurt out "who wants chocolate chip cookies!!??" to which dren replied "ah yeah...what kind of questions is that?" and jaxon replied "yeah, mama, what kind of question is that?". Little clone. A self-admitted little clone. God I love those boys. And our new little girl :)

xoxog

yessssss!

2008-01-08T00:47:00.001-08:00

Project runway is back FI-NAH-LY!!!
And it's about as Devil Wears Prada-ish as could possibly be.

Totally productive, happy day. Figuring out possible solution to debt (wow). 40 minute walk with Momo (so good for me and it felt so good and the little munchkincrazygirl was so good and so cute). Made jewellry for the first time in SO long! Two necklaces. Funky and cute. Just have to add clasps and then they'll be good to go!

I also took a break in the afternoon around 3 and worked on a collage piece thing that's been going for a little while. I'm feeling a tad more pressure to pay it some attention because Momo seems to like to come in and chew on it. Hmmm.

And thanks to Project Runway, I did a fashion sketch too!

Soapiest Day Ever.: when you take the bar of soap and mix it with the bubbles in the bubble bath and go crazy with the best biggest amount of soapiest soap EVER. {excerpt from The World According to Jaxon}

today is the soapiest day ever.

2008-01-06T23:14:00.000-08:00

We have all been totally consumed by the newest member of our family (who I currently have no photos of because of her keeping us so busy but also because it's winter and there's no light and the photos I took with a flash are icky). We've been talking about getting a dog for some time. It's mostly been Dren talking and me either tuning him out or saying "no." Once I gave in, he was online 24/7 trying to find us a dog. And as of New Years Day, we have a 9 week old lab cross. Her name is Momo and she's awesome. Photos soon!

I'm loving my own new office space. Burning all these yummy essential oils I found while cleaning and sorting, putting bits and pieces up and reorganizing...actually playing in my little spot.

I'm trying to restore some of that creative mojo that seems to have completely disappeared of late. Just rolling with it and doing different stuff. I'm reading a really cool little book a friend gave me for Christmas called Craft Inc. It's cute and chock-full of information and inspiration. Colleen and I went for brunch today and strolled down the Drive. Haven't done anything girlfriendy lately and it was really nice. We went into the new Barefoot Contessa...to die for! I love window shopping.

Just finished up a bunch of work in order to have an easier more relaxed Monday morning. Feeling really in shape. For work...not in general :) Walking the dog is going to be awesome for getting more exercise. It will be especially great when she actually wants to go out...it's too damn cold right now!

For one of the recent Dares I put together a gazillion tiny little thumbnails together in a little ring-bound album, all from 2007. I started with Jaxon's 2006/2007 school photo, and ended it with this year's. Gotta get all caught up with the Dares and some other projects!

About time for a long winter's nap, methinks.

xog

december 29

2007-12-29T22:25:00.000-08:00

i so miss blogging. and i miss lots of people too.
the holidays...times of love, joy, peace...always seem to creep up on me and then explode all over the place and then be gone in a split second. leaves me feeling spin-headed and much less-prepared than i had originally thought i was about 2 weeks ago.

10:22pm: just returned from jaxon's room, "putting the children to bed" for about mmm...the past FOURTY-FIVE minutes? (cousins Ella and Sophie are staying over, as well as Carmichael. The room is crowded indeed).

10:32pm: i hear Dren going in with the stern father voice. Yeah baby!

Our Christmas was OK. Christmas is getting different for me...I'm getting to be an adult I guess. We have always celebrated with my family. Dren's family is all on the East Coast...in Toronto. I think he wanted to go there one year and I gave him a look of complete horror. What!?? Leave my family?? At Christmas??? This year was the first year I thought to myself: Hmmm...Maybe it would be nice to visit his family at Christmas. Not that anything unbearable is going on with my family...it's just different. It's the first year I've had to do two Christmases. That kinda sucked. My sisters invited their dad and grandma to dinner. I swear to god right now I feel like I could write a soap-opera out of my life right now and I alwaysalways thought that I had the "normal" family.

Onwards and forwards. I had an awesome conversation with my mum about it all and it made me feel better. I actually have my own family now, and I can start new traditions. I can carry on the ones that make me happy, and I can take the things that have changed, process the changes, and deal with the sadness. But honestly...it's pretty fuckin weird when your family splits and completely changes at thirty years old.

The past two days have been spent moving my art&scrap stuff and my office from the dining "room" (it's so not even a room) and the living room to our third bedroom and moving D's "ofice" as Jax calls it to a little "manspace" in the living room. It's working famously so far, but I have such a ton of stuff to go through and cram into that little room. Where was it hiding before? Oh right...that's why we haven't eaten at the dining room table in about a year. So, lots to do but feels SO good for now. Dren loves the living room (he's got the movie channels now) and I love having my own space. Oh, and I love not wanting to throttle my child because he came in screaming and carrying on while I'm on the phone with a client. I have an office - hooray!

11:02pm: I realize I think I finally hear silence. Victory.

Goodfellas is on. I love this movie. Loving the reruns and movies due to the writer's strike. Feeling for the writers. Hell yeah they should receive royalties! Hell-OH???

I got a Palm. I love him. So much. wow. You all probably know how I drowned my Palm Treo in beer, yeah? So I have been whining ever since how I don't have peoples' numbers in one place, I don't know where anyone lives at a moment's notice, and above all, I don't have reminders and I don't have my calendar. Boohoo. I have a new cell - I had to pay $70 and they could hook me up under the current contract. Whatever. But ever since I have missed the features I used on that lovely phone...and so I asked Dren for replacement pages for my Dayplanner for Christmas. He said "OK...don't tell anyone else that idea...that is what I'm getting you." I'm thinking "Great, awesome gift babe...thanks for the surprise and can't wait". But of course...we all know Dren. The gift was a Palm Tungsten something or other with a wireless keyboard included!!! I can be all business-y and get back all those things I have missed so much and I don't need the phone because I already have one! But I gotta get it synched with my computer this time. Uh yeah.

It really takes a long time to go through art supplies and scrap stuff. Really. A lot of it is total crap but for the simple sake that it must be useful to someone at sometime just makes me hold onto it that little bit later. You know? Earlier tonight Colleen was here. Her sister got Carmichael a kitten for Christmas and so Colleen brought her down to introduce her to Sophie and Ella. And Colleen loves free stuff! So I went through 4 boxes of stuff and reduced it to not even one box. Then the useful stuff that she didn't want I put into a separate box to donate to Jaxon's daycare. SWEET!

And now I'm looking up at a stand my dad made me many years ago so I could sell cards at craft fairs. It's gorgeous...of course. Everything he does is incredibly beautiful and well-thought out. It has plexi-glass fronts so you can see the cards through. I think I'll make little art pieces of something or other to put in the spots. That will be fun.

xog

i still have to shop.

2007-12-22T12:40:00.000-08:00

not for everything, but all that little finish-up stuff, you know? today i will be visiting ToysRUs, Office Depot, Costco, and, lord help me, The Mall. Also the liquor store and the produce store. And it's 12:43pm. Yikes! Wish me luck - here I go!
xog

ponder of the day

2007-12-14T19:38:00.000-08:00

If you download an audiobook from iTunes, can you still count it as "read"? I have a feeling I might have found a new little great thing! But I'm just downloading the first one now, so really, I don't know if I'll even like it. I think the narrator will have a lot to do with whether I can handle it. Christina Ricci reading a Gossip Girl book? The way she was reading kind of irritated me. Cynthia Nixon, on the other hand reading Lipstick Jungle...her voice appeals. I figure I'll start with a book just for total fun and see if I like it. So...can I count it as read once I've listened to all 6+ hours of it?

xog

i'm so into

2007-12-14T01:11:00.000-08:00

I'm so into living my life these days.
I'm so into getting by on the small amount of energy I have.
I'm so into being home every day when Jaxon gets home and asking him "how was your day".
I'm so into going through my friends' purses and stealing:
1. Revlon Bedroom Eyes Powder Liner in "Plum Wicked" (because she never wears it), and;
2. L'Ancome Juicy Tubes Ultra Brilliant Lip Gloss in "Fizz" (because she has enough lip glosses)

I'm so into the multi-pack of Big Rock Brewery beer we have in our fridge. Yum.

I'm so into getting into the Christmas spirit. In fact, I started a mini album entitled "The 12 Days of...Me"

I'm so into The Dares again. I love the renewed sense of energy we're all feeling. Love it.

76:best improvement:i LOVE this page. Red Velvet Kit Club. MMM. Scrumptious.

77:letter to yourself XX# of years ago. mine's to me when i'm like 19. and it's in the lil envie. kind of deep and private. there's a sticker on this layout that we can't see anymore (it was showing but i hid it) that says "a major regret". that is how i sometimes feel. other times, i think...what the hell...i wouldn't be me if i didn't choose that.

79:and then there's the fantabulous hand-made dare from our one and only 2007 LSS winner, Julie. She's a creative girl, that one. I love seeing that. My hand-made came from one of the base/table-cover/experimental pieces of cardstock that happened to be on the table and/or in the vicinity when I was making my paper. Stamps, paint...you name it. The part that would probably be the most controversial in terms of "hand made" is the strip at the bottom...whatever. It's a starbuck's bag handle un-wound. I had a hand IN in...but hand-made...ultimately, no. So sue me ;) They still my girls...and yes, I still love 'em.

xog

momi love notes

2007-11-26T13:19:00.000-08:00

goodbye, old post

2007-11-22T19:08:00.000-08:00

And hello new.

In between working more than ever (and I thought working @ home would mean LESS hours - ha!) and getting a handful of hours of sleep a night, I'm thinking about working on this week's Dare, feeding my family (sort of), trying to remember to drink enough water, stealing moments to myself (like meeting KM for lunch yesterday and having her brave downtown Vancouver traffic/parking/construction to pop into the VAG...so important and fun to have moments like this...must remember), and reallyreallyreally trying hard not to end up committed. Ridiculous. Time management expert seriously needed. And a house-cleaner. And perhaps a winning lottery ticket.

Light at end of tunnel? What light? As a matter of fact, what tunnel?

I realize I am probably NOT self-disciplined enough to work at home...that is, I don't seem to ever shut it off. I will blame both my parents, self-admitted workaholics. That said, I'm enjoying it too. Walking Jaxon to school, along with random buddies that join us. Emptying the dishwasher on my "break" to get some water. Not buying lunch far too often. One tank of gas over the past 3...maybe 4 weeks!

That's it for now...back to work. I do want to bust out the wicked sponsor kit tonight while I watch Grey's. Moments for me, 'member?

xog

and then, eventually, there was one.

2007-11-13T23:57:00.001-08:00

2007-11-10T13:19:00.001-08:00

I helped Jaxon clean his disaster of a room today. Actually, I mostly did the closet purge and cleaning, and encouraged him to "keep going...if you don't keep cleaning, I won't be able to keep helping you". "oh, right!" he would say. "and I won't get any money either!" We are contemplating the best way to move into "allowance territory". I've talked to mum about it, and she remembers starting us off with a very small base amount that we got no matter what, and used that amount to try to teach us about money. You get $1 (or whatever the amount was...I can't remember!) and you have to save 10% in the bank. 20% was recommended, but that 10% was a must. God...I wish I stuck with that plan my whole life. Anyway, I do want to start teaching J the value of money, but I also want to tie a portion of the allowance to helping out...keeping his room clean, helping tidy, etc. This whole experience with Dren's injury and being off work (almost a month now) is kind of making me feel like I have two sons!

I also pulled out my camera for the first time since D got home from the hospital (the second hospital visit, third in two weeks) when I took photos of his 27 staples. It was fun. Jax was only really in the mood to goof around, but we had fun and laughed and I captured the memory and that's what's important.

Back to work.
xog

right now

2007-11-09T13:49:00.000-08:00

Doing: Working

Listening to: Van Morrison Moondance (just finished "Crazy Love"). Such feel-good, happy, soulful, chair-dancy, singable, make-work-more-enjoyable kind of music. If the boys weren't in the same room, I would probably be belting it out like I was on American (ahem, Canadian) Idol. I'm sure at some point this afternoon I'll forget all about them and get into the tunes enough to hum a few bars...sigh. I love Van.

Wearing: red softball shirt, my grey sweats, a black bandana, bare feet, and headphones. No bra. Yeah, that's right.

Thinking about: Working at home...trying to establish a routine. Loving it and hating it all at the same time. But probably loving it a little bit more.

Enjoying: Jaxon and Carmichael playing video games quietly, having asked to be picked up from daycare early (school's out at noon on Fridays). They're respecting the fact that I have a lot left of my workday.

Grateful for: Dren's short term disability benefits being approved and for direct deposit.

today

2007-11-06T23:10:00.000-08:00

Today I took a two hour lunch break and went to the VAG with mum. We saw Georgia O'Keefe. Amazing. She is probably the most accomplished artist I looked to and looked up to early on in my life. I tried to emulate her works and was constantly fascinated with the variety in her art...the colours used and the light she seemed to bring out of the New Mexico desert, translating them directly to canvas...but in her way. Her unique, abstract way. Mum gave me a membership to the gallery and a book about her for my birthday. Perfect.

Wonderful to get away for a bit.

xog

thank you...

2007-11-04T14:27:00.000-08:00

for providing me with all that motivation to see the light at the end of the tunnel. you guys rock. and I made a layout to say so. the teeny tiny text is all the comments I received from you on the last post.

xoxog

i'm ready. uplift me.

2007-10-24T23:23:00.000-07:00

If you have a favourite inspirational or motivational quote, please share. If you have a story of some trying time you've gone through, please share. I'm ready to be uplifted out of this fog...this state of overwhelming fog I've felt. I miss scrapbooking. I really REALLY do. It's my therapy. I need it. I'm sad. I'm spent. But I'm SO done talking about it and thinking about it. So please, PLEASE, if you have a happy, uplifting thought, phrase, story to share with me...please share it. I will be forever grateful. xog

here

2007-10-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

Here I am. Alive and well. Here we are, almost one week to the day of Dren's surgery. It feels like perhaps a month could have passed by now. I've joked to people that I feel like Florence Nightingale. As soon as I've finished doing something for Jax or feeding him or putting a load of laundry in, there is an errand to run. As soon as I'm back from the store, Dren needs to move or eat or drink or perhaps have a DVD popped in. But truth be told, I'm happy and feeling fulfilled. We've had tons of offers of help and support, and it all means the world. I've received emails and messages of encouragement that are so uplifiting...it's amazing how you can gain strength from a few simple words.

Last night I managed to sneak out for a few hours with some friends. We checked out Me & Julio, a new restaraunt our friends Shelome opened. Incredible. YUM. Chicken tacos, tacquitos, ribs, steak, quesadillas...all mexican with a completely modern flair. The interior is amazing with massive tables and a bar all hand-made and designed by the brother-sister team of owners/operators. And the drinks?? All custom cocktails (think Pink Taco, Pineapple Mint Tequila Fizz, Likitiki...the list goes on for about 7 more). My, my...between the 5 of us, we were able to try all but 3. Oh well...I guess we'll have to go back. It was nice to have a break, but part of my mind was constantly elsewhere - back at home, hoping the boys were behaving, hoping Dren had the co-op phone list handy in case something came up in a hurry. We were only 6 blocks away, which is definitely one of the contributing factors in me deciding I could do it. When we got home I was glad to be there. It's where I feel I belong right now.

Speaking of being at home...I'm slowly but surely getting caught up with work/working from home. I have been a bit all over the place during the last week - visiting the hospital almost every day and dealing with Jax and trying to fit in as many work hours as possible. But I'm doing it, and I'm seeing the light. And it feels really good. I hope it continues to work, and I hope this is what I was waiting for in terms of "when things slow down". I now have limited responsibility in a much larger company, and I hope for me that means more mental space to think about and do the other stuff in my life that I like to do...and grow my own business.

But for now, one day at a time. I'm here, and I'm alive. We're here, together as a family and we're making it. We're going to experience a huge test starting a week ago. Dren is literally in a straight-leg splint and can't comfortably move from bed right now. Sometimes Jax is great, and sometimes he doesn't really understand, but we're all coping the very best that we can, and so far so good. D seems about 80% better than he did yesterday (managed to get him in the shower, brush his teeth, etc...all the things we take for granted everyday). Mum made soup for us and we celebrated Rhi's birthday today with a lunch at her house.

Day by day, minute by minute...we're here.
And here we are.

xog

update

2007-10-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

Night-time is a time for thinking for me lately. Lots of deep crazy thoughts going on, but to be honest I'm exhausted. Totally spent. So instead, just a little update and the important thoughts will come back later to be recorded.

Dren's surgery yesterday went really well. So well, in fact, that they discharged him at about 6pm the same day. Sent us home with Tylenol 3s and we got him home. It was really nice to have him home, and he was glad to be home. About 10 or 11pm, the pain started to get crazy uncomfortable. The night was really rough - he probably only slept about 3 hours. I called the hospital in the morning, and the surgeon wanted him back. We tried to get him outside so I could drive him, but the pain was so bad that we needed to call another ambulance.

We waited around in ER again for about 3 hours. The surgeons came to see him and decided to admit him again. He finally received some morphine around 2 hours after we got there.

I left him after I was satisfied that the pain was at least slightly more comfortable. I am so behind with work right now...but how thankful am I that I have been able to do all of this with him, all the while having the opportunity to go home and get caught up and not have to lose money? Very thankful.

I took him some food later in the day (simply could not subject the boy to hospital food) and visited for about 45 minutes. Then drove home to get back to it.

Thank God for incredible friends who are doing things like caring for my child and feeding us.
Thank God for all the kind and comforting comments I read on my last post.
Thank God Dren and I love eachother so much so that I want to do things for him and he's concerned about asking too much.
Thank God for family...mum's arriving tomorrow and I'm so glad.
Thank God for the small things and day by day.

xog

let me tell you a story.

2007-10-14T01:03:00.000-07:00

It's one-oh-six a.m., I've had at least 3 glasses of red, I'm emotionally charged and probably exhausted. (ie: there may be spelling mistakes and I'll probably ramble, so be prepared with your cup of coffee, tea, or a martini or two and get ready to read).

I'm going to tell the story of where I've been for the last 2-or-so months.

I worked in a very small but successful home business, owned and run by my brother-in-law. It's a home-based business, allowing me the wonderful opportunity for flexibility, opportunity and seeing my neices and sister almost every day. I have been with the company for almost 8 years. It hasn't been all great times...I've established an interesting personal/business relationship with my brother-in-law, our similarities being limited to a limited appreciation of each others' sense of humour, wit, and brains, and a common love of great red wines.

I love my job. I've learned so much, worked with great people, been tested and challenged beyond anything I've ever known. I've developed a "career" (gasp!) and a set of skills that are marketable. I feel proud of the work I've done for and with the company and appreciate the opportunity I've had.

On August 15, Josh, my co-worker (project manager) left for holidays in Korea. Going to meet his wife's father for the first time ever. The parents don't speak any English. This is huge for him. While he's away, I will do his job and mine. I've done his job before...his job was mine before it belonged to 3 other people before him. Sure, there will be overtime, but I get paid well, and I feel a sense of obligation and loyalty. I get a certain satisfaction out of completing tasks and getting caught up. A part of me wants to test myself to see how much I can accomplish and still feel good about it. Yes, there will be stress, but I will thrive on the busy-ness of it all and once I reach my breaking point I will ask for help.

On August 17, I learned that Josh will probably not have a job when he gets back.

I know that the boss has been going to tons of meetings...I know there's something brewing, but I have no idea what.

I learn that the business I work for is being licensed to another company, a manufacturer.

I learn that I still have a job.

August 31: I have to lay Josh off.

The next several weeks are a complete blur of a ton of work (we're entering "rush" season in the optical disc manufacturing business), a ton of stress (apparently I'm supposed to be receiving a contract proposal from the new company), and a ton of change (1. i'm not so good with change, 2. jaxon is in school full-time, is really reacting by testing us lots, 3. dren has a night schedule driving bus), and, well, do we really need more???

September is spent doing the jobs of order processing, accounting, shipping, and graphics. Day after day of 10-12 hours straight. Lots of order-in and take-out. I'm emotional. I realized I'm essentially losing my job. Yes, I'm grateful to have a new job, but there is a certain emotional process one goes through when their job as they know it is gone. I fight with my sister, I'm a less-than-ideal wife and mother, and I just keep going.

September 26:
I turn thirty. Exciting, great, wonderful, but seriously...holy shit I'm 30.

September 29:
My 30th birthday party. So fun. Great friends, family, and fine food and drink. So fun.

October 1:
We have moved offices. We are now out almost in Langley, about 45-60 minutes away from where I live and have worked for years. I've been asked to commute for two weeks out there to help with process-integration and transition. I've taken a huge pay cut (a lot of thought and stress went into that, too). I'm still keeping it together.

October 5:
I get home from a long week/day and a hellish commute and am talking to Rhi on the phone. I've learned that my two sisters (they're half-sisters, as I'm reminded of this day) have planned a Thanksgiving dinner for them, their dad, half-brother (dad's side) and grandma. I'm sad. I feel left out. My dad's been on Saturna and absent from any family thing, let alone a holiday, for years. My mum's moved there as well, and while I can't be happier to hear her content and happy voice on the phone from over there, she's not here. And it's Thanksgiving. I feel sad, and I feel left out.

While I'm on my cell phone with Rhi, Dren calls. I'm just about done my phone call. I think "I'll call him back". The house phone rings. Hmm...probably Dren again. He will worry, he'll try both numbers - that's just him. But then I start to think...I've been out away at work all day...Colleen was going to the appointment with Carmichael and then picking Jaxon up...what if somthing happened. So, I end the phone call with Rhi and call Colleen. "Call Dren...did you call Dren? He's having chest pains". I get off the phone with Colleen and I call Dren. I can hear sirens in the background. I immediately think that it will be nothing...it's OK. Not to worry, he's been saying something about a "twinge" in his chest for months.

I go to emergency to meet up with Dren and wait in emergency with him. He was driving the bus at the time he phoned, they transferred him to emerg and from there, it was hours of waiting. He has blood tests, he had x-rays. Blood pressure, and EKG (I think that's what it's called). Any finally, after midnight, the ER doctor comes back and says it's OK...you can go. All the tests are fine, and there's nothing wrong with you. Phew.

Saturday:
2pm. A phone call from the hospital. You have to come back for a reassessment. Really? Why? Not sure, the doctor wants you back. Dren goes.

They found a pneumo-thorax. Weird. Hi, Google. They do more x-rays. Can't find it - nothing critical, nothing that can really be determined. Forward case to the Respiratory Ambulatory Care Clinic. Good...he can come home and he'll be seen by a specialist.

Dren sees specialist, they do more x-rays. Nothing there. It's a spontaneous pneumo-thorax...apparently it's healed itself. Follow-up in December, if things get worse, call.

We have an OK week. Still commuting...looking forward to starting to work from home on my new contract.

October 12:
Jaxon turns six. I bought his birthday present the day of. A skateboard and ramp-thing that he can learn to use. Pads, of course. Helmet, he already has. He has invited lots of great kids to his party on Sunday. It will be so fun.

Aley and Rhi and the girls come over for pizza and presents and cupcakes.

October 13:
Canada's Scrapbooking Crop 4 Kids. Super amazing charity event. I can hardly believe how well this event has been pulled together. It's been 2 years of plotting and planning. Securing donations: time, product, money, effort, energy. I teach my first two classes ever. I had tiny little classes. It's totally fine. I'm eased into the world of "teaching" scrapbooking, whatever that is. They seem to be happy with what we're doing, and The Dare book is on proud display...being given away for door prizes, and sold at the event. Sweet.

Aley helped me out...and what an amazing help. It's great to have someone by your side....could you please do this or that and/or whatever. And plus, someone around that you know will make you feel comfortable and at-ease.

She drops me off, double-parked so she can help me bring stuff inside. Everyone is out in the courtyard when we get home. They boys are skate-boarding and playing. Dren comes out and joins in. I want to see Jaxon try his board out. Yes, he gets frustrated, but we've prepared him for that as much as we can. Then he falls down. He had a lollipop in his thigh-pocket, and landed right on it. He's crying. I'm tending to him, and then I look down the sidewalk path and notice Dren - DOWN. Sort of...writhing in pain. Hmm.

"My knee is blown...something's wrong...I think I need an ambulance". Wow. We tried to get him in the car; it wasn't happening. I called the ambulance and they showed up about 20 minutes later (afterall, no one was bleeding, hyperventilating, or otherwise dying, so...). He wanted me to stay. Jaxon had burst into another round of tears when he figured out how hurt daddy was. Turns out he has a torn tendon below his knee-cap. He needs surgery ASAP...in the next 1-4 days, depending on how many emergencies come in.

I'm home alone. I've had a helluva a two months. I've had a helluva a two weeks. I've had a helluva two days, and I'm happy for it all. All of it is serving to make me a better, stronger person. All of it is serving to keep my head above water. It's hard...don't get me wrong. I've cried more in the last 3 weeks than I have for the last 3 months. But this is my life, and it is what it is.

That, my friends, is what it is. If you read my blog, I appreciate it. How cool to meet people today saying "I read your blog" and think "wow, really?". I had a fun, emotional, long, hard day. And now, it's beyond done. Afterall, it's now 2:22 am and I'm beyond ready for bed. I have to be up-and-at-em in a few hours for Jaxon's birthday party with all his buddies tomorrow at noon.

And after that, we'll visit D, who I miss so incredibly much right now.

xoxog

uhhhm...

2007-10-11T18:37:00.000-07:00

And that, my friends, was about the most intelligent post title - EVER.

No time to update blog, clearly.
Commuting about 45-60 minutes to and from work. <--- this is supposed to be over after tomorrow!!!!!
Getting ready for Crop 4 Kids this weekend!!! So excited. Still working on kits.
Got to meet the Vancouver coordinator of aforementioned C4K, Nicole (twice this week, since she lives near where I'm commuting to!), who is awesome, cheerful, supportive and great all in one tiny little ball of energy.
Little man's birfday tomorrow!!! He's turning six.
Trying not to be exhausted, not having much luck with that.
Trying to stay positive and grateful...it's a challenge right now.
OK gotta fly! Colleen is here to help!
xog

this is...

2007-10-05T00:15:00.000-07:00

my life.

THIS IS MY LIFE.

this is my life.

just a note-to-self.
that's all.

more to come, i'm sure, but for now, that's it.

xog

being 30 and some truths

2007-09-30T16:26:00.000-07:00

We had a super fun party for my 30th last night, but I'll be honest and say that the photos really suck. We had family photos taken that one person or another was rolling their eyes in and/or looking dead, or a child was ruining or something or other and really I just couldn't share them. There is one of me that nicely shows of one of THREE new necklaces I received as gifts. This one is from Aley and I love it. Interlinked silver odd-shaped circular-ish bits on a chain. Gorgeous!
And of course we had to re-create the now infamous tongues all-out. Not quite as cute, but we're all 10 years older so maybe we're not as flawless, but we're all wiser and richer. Or something. We definitely still love eachother. Rhi's back decided to spasm out so after decorating and preparing basically everything for the party, she spent most of the rest of the night on the couch. Poor thing. Aley got drunk and we decided today that she really should have eaten more. I, on the other hand, kept nice and busy and chatty and made awesomely strong martinis for everyone all night (even though we were supposed to only start with one or two and then move on to something less deadly). The bathtub was filled with fine beer and Janice bought me white crocs. I wanted to murder her, but I managed to give them away to our flamboyant friend John (or maybe one of my neices absconded with them...not sure).

PS on that shot. Notice other gorgeous necklace. 2 necklace changes and 3 costume changes for me. I was the birthday girl, afterall...

The truth about turning 30 is that is IS actually kind of a big deal. I've been excited rather than dreading it, and I denied being at all scared/anxious/upset about it. However, I did spend the early part of the week in tears. I'm not sure if this is because of turning 30, or the fact that I'm changing jobs, taking a pay cut and starting to be a self-employed contract employee, or the fact that I was totally PMSing...but I think perhaps a combination of all three. Needless to say, The Gratitude Project has been on hold as, well, I've been feeling slightly less than grateful lately. But I'm trying. Definitely trying. The whole cognitive behaviour thing...I do believe in it, and I think it works. The Gratitude Project will resurface as soon as I've had some time to settle into a new work routine, the fall/winter routine and lifestyle, when I'm feeling less of a creative funk, and of course when I'm feeling it again.

This I know for sure: 30 is going to be a year of change and a year of trials. It's going to be satisfying and hard. I want to work hard and feel success. The truth is, I'm really excited about being 30. Woo!

xog

birthday/datenight

2007-09-26T22:28:00.000-07:00

just got home from an awesome night. christina gave us tickets to the hockey game and we had SO much fun. dren and i have been spending a bit of time together lately (go figure) and it's been refreshing and nice. a crazy, emotional, busy, tiring day that ended with the perfect thing. sitting at the game, watching our canucks go into overtime and then a shootout (we lost, but it was super exciting and still very fun), i thought about what it all boils down to. being able to be out with him tonight meant so much. happy birthday to me. i'm lucky, i'm blessed, and i know it.

gratitude:

for you babe.

Dishwashers and Five Year Olds

2007-09-24T17:54:00.000-07:00

I'm still here! Buried under endless piles - in my head. I just wrote this whole big thing about wondering if I'm going crazy because I'm approaching 30 and went on and on and couldn't stop thinking crappy thoughts about everyone and everything and honestly, I just didn't want to think about stress and busy-ness or anything negative. Amazing how a girl can bring herself down. And what's the point of that? So. While I near 30, I will instead work again (hard) on the gratitude thing.

Speaking of gratitude, a couple of months ago Dren and I bought a dishwasher from our friends above us who were moving into a new house. This is one of the best decisions we've made in a LONG time. Amazingly enough, the dishwasher=cleaner kitch=more time=happy people. Yep...definitely a thing to not take for granted.

I'm finding Jaxon's age right now funny, delightful, trying, tiring and exhilarating all at the same time. He is totally learning to read. He constantly gets his "b"s and "d"s mixed up and sometimes he has fun with it and we totally laugh together over the mistake that sometimes ends up being quite hilarious. But sometime he gets upset and frustrated. I think he's got his mother's personality, quite frankly. Especially these days...oy!

I've been working on lots of scrap-related stuff...The Dare site, of course. Trying to problem solve and research and figure out the gallery but we'll see how that goes. Then there is Canada's Scrapbooking Crop for Kids, which is such an amazing event this group of women across Canada
have put together. Getting kits ready to go for my first ever teaching experience. How nerve-wracking is that!? Scrapologie's September kit, which of course is as divine as ever. Yum!

And then there's the cleaning...which I'm extra behind on so off I go!

xog

some stuff that's popped up over the last little while...(i got a bunch of old pix printed because my printer's been on the fritz)...

piles

2007-09-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

It's typical. I'm always surrounded by piles. Piles of paper, piles of books. Piles of clothes, piles of scrap supplies. But my favourite pile right now? My wood pile. While on Saturna last weekend having a visit with my dad, seeing the latest gorgeous house he's built down @ Saturna beach, I asked him about spare wood. I've been painting a lot lately on wood...collage stuff etc. It's a great medium - a wonderful surface that looks good even when it's bare. Not only did he send me home with a bunch of spare bits and pieces - 1/4 inch plywood, hardboard, thin veneers and bits of skinny plywood perfect for either art pieces OR covers of books, but two days later mum brought back to Vancouver a pile of 32 6"x8" wood book covers - pre-drilled with 4 holes perfectly to spec.

So grateful for my pile of wood. Fireplace not required.

PS! Sign-ups for LSS are extended to this Wednesday, midnight EST. If you haven't yet signed up, go do it now! First challenge will go up late Thursday/early Friday!

xog

drumroll please!

2007-09-14T06:25:00.000-07:00

we're back!!!

yay!

2007-09-12T22:24:00.000-07:00

Just because I'm in a "yay" kind of mood. It's 10:30 and I'll be reading my book in bed in a few minutes. Work is still crazy...efferdares is still down BUT I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel! (yay!) The domain name transfer is official today and so I *hope* that means we'll be up and running before too long!! 1 day? 2 days? SOON.

YES we will still be accepting sign-ups. For ONE MORE WEEK. No challenge this week because, well, people still want to sign up and weren't able to at the last minute last week, and we want to give everyone a chance and then of course have a good amount of time to set up the first challenge and give props to all the amazing wonderful sponsors. Seriously...the winner is going to get a ROCKIN prize package.

AND I've been making stuff. A sneak of my gratitude project beginnings (from way back when?) and the cover of the Saturna album.

Ahhh...and it's Wednesday. That means tomorrow is Thursday, and THAT means that the day after is Friday and THAT means it's the weekend!

Gratitude: For seeing the light at the end of what seems like a very long, dark tunnel. Phew.

hellloooooooo

2007-09-11T17:54:00.001-07:00

woops. just published blog post with only heading "hellllooooo!". that's interesting.
efferdares.com is STILL down.
i want to scream and rant and shout.
instead, i choose not to.
(i'm still thinking all of it though)
if you really want the technical details of all going on out of our control, feel free to let me know. trust me, they're dull, and knowing them doesn't help because we can't do anything. some reports are 24-48 hours, some reports are 7-10 business days. WTF. LSS will go on, ASAP!!! as soon as the site is up, you can bet your booty that all of us will be mad-posting on our blogs. so please have patience, like you have been, and please stay tuned.
i got away over the weekend, and i needed it SO bad.
it was gorgeous, wonderful, amazing, relaxing, rejuvenating, and weird all at once.
(first time visiting mum & dad separately on saturna - bizarre).
ohhhh, but how that place holds a huge piece of my heart. i love it.
and i'm starting an album tonight!!! just printed 81 photos from the weekend and going for it! my dad builds houses and he hooked me up with all sorts of wood to use for art, including thin plywood to use for book covers. oh yeah.
sorry for being such a sporadic blogger lately. when life gets busy, somethin (or several somethins) gotta give.

gratitude:
saturna. one of the most beautiful places i have ever seen. it makes my mind calm the minute i'm there.

LSS

2007-09-07T09:03:00.000-07:00

Just a quick pop-in to let you all know that we are extending LSS sign-ups for another week because of the site being down for the last 3 days. Thanks for your patience...now you have another week to get mentally prepared! :)
xog

uh...yeah

2007-09-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

SO apparently the universe doesn't think I haeve enough on my plate: anyone notice how the effer site is down again? Yes. Major hardware crash on the server yesterday. Working on it! OK...at work...gotta fly.
xog

aack!

2007-09-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

So sorry that this took so long to post...I had fantasies of printing out the comments, cutting them up into little strips (this would be on scrap paper already printed on one side, doing my part with the Three Rs and all...) and getting Jaxon to throw them gleefully into the air and choose a totally random winner. Buuuuut...it didn't happen that way. He's a busy lil man, you know! He's got peeps! He's got obligations and commitments with various 5 to 11 year olds! He's got movies to watch and toys to play with and big Crayola murals to colour, you know. So we did a scrolly trick. Totally not scientific, but random enough. And the winner is! Da-da-dummmmmm!!!!

ugusti_73 / Anna said...

Yey, how exciting!!! I'd love to get one!!

Something inspiring: YOU! and the rest of the Dare-girls,
and
Flickr.com & scrapinstyletv.com
are two of the most inspiring sites I know.

1:28 AM

So send me your addy girlfriend! And when I place my next Dare Book order, I will most certainly do this again. It was fun, as always. Thanks for playing, and thanks for all the fun comments and inspiring places and thoughts.

Gratitude:
Planning a trip to Saturna to see me mama next weekend. Yay!

it was a 14 pound box

2007-08-28T18:11:00.000-07:00

(click image to see better!)

sunshine & fish-n-chips

2007-08-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

It's Friday! Thrilling. You know what else is thrilling? The weather. Loving the sunshine.

I am in LOVE with our new Dares site. It's so fun to play on and we're adding features like The Mini Dares (how cute) and finding a whole new enthusiasm for it all. GOOD stuff. We have some more stuffs up our sleeves {insert photo of me grinning devilishly and rubbing my palms together}.

My Dare from this week, featuring Guest Darer Anja. The girl rocks out with originality and I love it. I mean, NO official scrap supplies? Not a ONE? Egads, as G1 said!

So glad that Dren "posed" (as silly as they are) for me a couple weeks ago. Sexy, yes? I never get to scrap him b/c I never get photos of him. I 'spose I could use the same ones over and over again, but that would be a bit boring, no? The back of this layout is a very sturdy envelope that the fat black and white proof for The Book came in. I left the shipping papers in it and everything. I know the subject of the page has nothing to do with the envelope and why I wanted to keep it, but for me the important thing was to keep it and use it, and it really is a nice strong flat surface to work on. I added most of a swatch from an upholstery store. I used another similar one on a mini I did for The Book. These things are GREAT and I need more! Got them from a store here called Urban Source. All recycled/reclaimed stuff sold there. Must check back. And maybe the fabric places give these things away for free? Also on here, we have part of a SB cup with a beautiful quote on it, some corrugated CS from some packaging or other, and a piece of thin chipboard that came from who knows where. This dare was challenging. I love that.

Last night we went out on a little family adventure to the beach. Our intention was to eat fish & chips at the beach. It was a gorgeous night and we were to watch the sun go down and play. I would take some photos. We got there, and the kitchen at the concession was closed. WhatEVER. By this point it was almost 8:00 and we were starving. Dren doesn't get home until after 7 and I had waited to eat with him. We drove along Broadway, heading East, and had our eyes peeled for a sign somewhere that might say "Fish-n-Chips", because of course by that point we both really wanted fish-n-chips! It was not to be. Then I thought of a diner near our house that was sure to have them. Then Dren remembered this great little place called Belgian Fries. This place is to die for. Really good fries, and that's all we've tried, but they also have deep-fried Mars Bars (are you kidding me!??) and lots of other really healthy stuff. They happen to have fish-n-chips; clearly, deep-fried fish fits right into their menu. So, the drive was nice (Jaxon slept most of it) and we ended up about 8 blocks from home, happily eating fish-n-chips.

I'm looking forward to a weekend of hangin, scrappin, cleanin, sleepin, relaxin. I hope you all have a GREAT weekend and thank you so much for all the congrats! I'm really happy to be a part of the Memory Makers extended family :)

Gratitude:
For changes coming. I have to be grateful, otherwise I might freak out and lose my mind.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

2007-08-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

It would have been nice to make Dren and Jaxon refer to me as Master Mama or Master Babe. Yes. Heeee! While I can't officially refer to myself as "master", today I can still be grateful about being able to share this.

yum

2007-08-21T01:02:00.000-07:00

Just finished a mini album with the August Scrapologie kit. I think I love it, but I'll have to check again in the morning to make sure.

Everyone who tells me "when are you having another one...you should have another one...a little girl" can seriously shove it after the afternoon/evening I had. Jaxon had a friend over...a little boy who is 4 but I think maybe acts like Jaxon did when he was 3? Or maybe there is a HUGE difference between 4 year olds and 5 year olds that I had no clue about? Did I miss it? Cause seriously, I couldn't believe how Jaxon reverted to being some sort of annoying, non-listening child that constantly had to be heard...and we're talking NO downtime. Poor Dren was home with them all day, but I got plenty filled in between 4:30 and 7:30. And the mum was supposed to be home at 5:00. ANYway. Just slightly going crazy over here, so it really felt good to make stuff tonight. Really really feeling nice and calm now. Doesn't hurt that the house is silent b/c the boys are sleeping and it's 1:09am and I really should be in bed because even though I feel calm right now and that's great, I'm going to feel tired beyond belief tomorrow.

OK so I'll just post some photos then...some eye candy for me, photos from little spots in my own home that I love. Mostly my areas here, of course. The boys' areas are covered in things like action figures and video games and maybe some chip crumbs.

book stack beside plant
(and a photo of damien)
(we still miss him)

collection of binders. to store things and make me organized.

big long matches. they look cool like this.

seriously, this time

2007-08-18T16:17:00.000-07:00

The Dares! we're back! we're happening!

there is something like a huuuuuge learning curve when you decide to start a website by yourself, not being trained as a web designer, programmer, or computer technician of any sort whatsoever. but i think that might actually make it that much more rewarding...as long as people don't get sick of waiting for us to get our shit together!! apparently we're on a bit of an old & crusty server so if you have any issues, please try refreshing or if that doesn't work, checking back a little bit later...i guess we'll need some patience from people (including ourselves!) for the next little while. you should have heard kristi screaming and cursing on the phone just after i had woken up this morning. oh lordy...this is a true test. we'll be adding info and dares and all that from now on...it WILL be great!

now that THAT'S out of the way, i'm feeling serious need to make stuff. so i'm gonna. got the august ologie kit to work on, and a bunch of other stuff that i want to get out just for fun...including The Gratitude Project!

here's my dare page from this week. dare: scrap your weakness. a cool one for interpretation. mine is about how i really get caught right up in taking pictures of jaxon...weaknesses can be good things too, right?

I used 7G and Fontwerks, and drew a grid on the AC thickers to tie them in w/ the grid rubs. The best thing for me to do when I haven't felt creative is to really bring myself back to the basics of product I love and is easy to use.

Gratitude:
Grateful for computer geeks and technology and forums where you can research stuff you don't know anything about but need to learn in the next 7 minutes because you've made a website go live before it's really done.

not dead

2007-08-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

1. working on revamping entire dares website. the other one was slow and the application we were using was a little too techish and un-user friendly for us. big job.
2. working two jobs. josh is in korea until the end of the month.
3. working on august scrapologie kit.
4. working on The Gratitude Project.
5. working on not throttling my child as he goes through "one of those testing phases"

Gratitude:
I'm alive!

insomnia & books

2007-08-12T12:40:00.000-07:00

Oh oh how I'm SO grateful for being introduced to goodreads by a couple of friends. For the last several years (let's call it "post-baby") I've made my way through a few books, but have not included regular reading in my life, except for daily reading with Jaxon. While the Wind in the Willows and Robert Munsch and Rudyard Kipling and Dr. Seuss are quite wonderful, they're not exactly chock-full of adult brain stimulation (well, they are, but in a different way). It's sort of like looking after a child full time. It's hard work and fulfilling, but at a certain point you long for adult conversation and interaction. So, do we think there is a connection between staying awake half the night and being fully immersed in a book? I dunno, but I do know that for two nights in a row I haven't been able to sleep properly. My mind going in a billion directions at once, feeling stressed before bed I'm sure doesn't help. The first night I tossed and turned, contemplating rising around 3:30am. The second night I gave in, and warmed some milk and cracked open my book. I love reading and am really glad I'm back into it. And I like that I can read a few pages or half the book, depending on my mood and schedule.

Tomorrow I'll be going back to work. Today will be spent doing some organizing and watching Dren and Len install our dishwasher, a.k.a.: marriage saver. I'm desperately in need of some creative time as well, so I hope to get some of that. I've been making things here and there, but feeling the need for direction and focus.

Ali's new daily something project got me both inspired and a little bit overwhelmed/exasperated. Jump starts are a great thing, but for as long as I can keep going on a "daily anything", I know the day will come where I can't participate and then it becomes a negative burden. I sat with that for a few days and then realized, it's OK. I mean, that's what Ali always says herself. Mistakes are OK, and we have to forgive ourselves our faults and be grateful for what we can do; for our accomplishments, our families, friends, learning and growing.

So what I'm going to concentrate on for myself will be my version of a daily something...and I'm going to call it the Gratitude Project. The days I don't necessarily have time to make something, I will rely on my blog to document the gratitude piece. Any of those can eventually become journalling for a piece of the Project. Anyone interested in the Gratitude Project? A no pressure way to continue being grateful on a regular basis. Hmmm...I think I'm going to start today!

xog

escaping

2007-08-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

My holidays have been so busy that I wonder how I can actually have a full-time job. But, apparently I can. In talking to friends about this, they have informed me that the ideal length of vacation is 3 weeks. In talking to my mama, she thinks 6. Yes, it's true, either of those would be preferable to 1 week, but I'll have to take what I can get, right? And although busy, I'm thoroughly enjoying myself. Today we went to Watermark at Kits Beach. Me, mama, Jaxon, Colleen, her mama, and Carmichael. The boys were SO well-behaved while we ate at the ultra-chic and only somewhat family-friendly restaurant. It's gorgeous.

Gratitude:
Today, I'm grateful for a lunch with friends and family, and for walking on the beach together. I'm grateful for holidays, and sharing a bottle of nice wine in the middle of the day. I'm grateful for Jaxon learning to swing on his own and "practicing until I can get better than daddy one day". I'm grateful for being able to do a little escaping this week, and taking a break for myself.

Friday Night

2007-08-07T00:22:00.000-07:00

gratitude:Friday night. My last day of work before holidays had just ended. I wanted something relaxing and comforting, and I asked my mum to cook dinner for us and bring it over. She agreed, of course she agreed. She misses cooking for people...has a hard time cooking nice meals for just herself, and that fit in with what I needed/wanted and I knew that. I need some time with my mum and she needed the same. The cooking/eating part just fit in with us as a family. It's the perfect way to catch up. We're all busy, but we still need to eat, right? We invited Colleen, who has her mum in town, and of course Carmichael too. They brought home-made soup and we had roasted chicken and sweet potato and steamed vegies and a beautiful salad. A 3 course meal...how nice is that!? It was nice. And I was reminded just how nice the next day when I spotted The Red Bowls waiting to be put into their home, the cabinet in my art space. Gorgeous.

Today=Spent getting out of "work" mode and into "holiday" mode. Kind of rough, strangely enough. I think I thrive off routine and not having one throws me into a bit of a tizzy. But we did see Bourne Ultimatum. So Good. AND I cut up some paper. gasp.

Thoughts of the Dares site and what a nightmare it kind of is are coming back to me...must be all this time sitting at the computer writing this post. Must go before feelings of anxiety and irritation fully creep back in. Off to bed & a book (thanks to goodreads, which pretty much rocks my world right now).

xog

on holiday!

2007-08-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

Love knowing I don't have to go to work all week. Tomorrow's a holiday, so I'm only taking 4 days off work, but getting a whole week. Now that's smart.

Yesterday I took Jaxon and Gracie to the park. We had fun and I took a ton of photos. Remembered how much I love to take photos and vowed to keep doing it. Been out of that habit lately. Here they are peeking out through the holes in the tube at the playground.

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.
John Milton

OMG

2007-08-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

countless self-taught hours later:

http://www.efferdares.com/

weeeeee're baaaaaaaaaaack!!!!

and slowly but surely, the links will go live, we'll update the archives, and say goodbye to blogger forever! *please have patience with us for now...it about killed us to get the thing live for today :)

doing my best

2007-07-31T14:58:00.000-07:00

NOT FUN.
seriously pissed.
been working on coming up with a solution.
have one. does not involve blogger.
grrrrr.
we WILL have a dare up this week...we're just not 100% sure how/where.
working on it.

I know it's not Wednesday, but the bloggage is not happening as frequently due to various busy stuff so everyone shut up and let me bitch for a minute. I mean, do they even know how hard we've worked at our blog? Could you not at least write us back and say something!?? Despite feeling somewhat deflated and seriously disappointed by the whole thing, we'll spring back. Of that I'm sure.

Getting some serious inspiration from the Dare book. It is the bomb-diggity.

Jaxon is starting a new daycare tomorrow. Sometimes he just doesn't get it. He thought perhaps he was going sometime near his birthday (October???) but I set him straight: "no babes, you're going to the new daycare tomorrow." Jaxon: {gasp} "I'm dooomed!". Had me in stitches out on the street at 7:20 this morning. The new daycare is so wicked. Hot lunch, hot snack and two times a week even a hot lunch. Out-trips 3 out of 5 days of the week. Waterslides, Science World, the beach, pools, park across the street...good times.

I'm totally going to try that magnesium thing that Ruth commented about on the last post. Can't hurt to try, right? (Thanks Ruth!) Anxiety is pretty well under control for me, thanks to modern medicine. The thing is, my goal is to come off the meds some day. I know that if I eat properly, sleep enough, have enough "me" time and get lots of exercise I'll be OK. While some days I might be trying to be Superwoman, I don't think I actually ever get there. I'm just doing the best I can. It's all I can do.

And now I'm falling asleep - must go.

Gratitude:
For getting things done and crossing them off the list.

PS. Thanks for posting your grateful comments...I do love to hear them so if ever you feel compelled then write it down - either here or where you are. Makes it more real that way.

anxious

2007-07-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

Part of anxiety for me is feeling like I'm not in control of a situation. Treading into unchartered (by me) territory, being in large crowds of strangers, or having to deal with something "important" that I haven't done before.

Today I'm feeling anxious and distracted and inefficient. But I know this too shall pass. I'm writing it down to get it out, and now I'm going to focus on the beautiful day, the summer breeze, and the weekend ahead.

Gratitude:
What are YOU grateful for? I'd like to hear about it.

bizzybuzzycrazy

2007-07-25T21:17:00.000-07:00

With a side of busy on top! Is it seriously Wednesday already!? Aley & mum are both moving and between that and co-op and some freelance graphics work I've picked up and family and regular work and my back being screwed up due to falling on my ass in Safeway last Friday.........UGH. Tonight, I put Jaxon to bed in our bed with a movie. Is that wrong? Don't answer that. It's bitch Wednesday!

Lots of bitchin to do, but also lots of great and exciting stuff going on as well.

I'm trying to find the scrap of paper that I've been keeping notes on for days as I think of things I want to document. So, I've got lots of scrappin "material" but also I had some stuff I just wanted to journal, ie: blog. Oh well. Must be Wednesday.

I need a massage and you have to really go to someone you know is good, whether you've been before or through a referral. I've had some BAD massages before. Do you know when they pinch your skin? I hate that.

Falling. In the Safeway produce department. Water on the floor by the corn table thing. Me? No basket, wallet, keys and cell phone and meat and bread and salad and I think some kettle chips too in my hands. I go literally feet up in the air. I really wish I could have seen my face. I mean, I'm a klutz through and through, but it doesn't usually includ quite that much drama! A kind and slightly greasy looking man helped me up so that alleviated some of the flushed-cheek feeling I was beginning to have.

Junk. You know when you go and help someone purge or sort or organize or pack or move? And you come home with half the shit they needed to get rid of? What is that about? Seriously, we live in an apartment building. Where am I going to put the hammock? Each time I said, "yes, sure!" to a new item, I was more and more certain that Dren would look at the stuff once we both were home and go "Gen!" in that half-way pissed off, half-way seriously pissed off and half-way giving up and defeated. Yes, well, that's exactly what happened. He knows he can't seriously do anything about it, but we don't have a lot of space here and I keep promising no more crap. Less crap, in fact!

Ah well, if I can figure out how to hang that hammock, I'll be one grateful girl :)

xoxog

technical difficulties...

2007-07-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

We don't know what's going on with our Dares blog and before we curse the good blogger name we're asking them for help. With they come through for us? Only time will tell I suppose. Anyway, sorry and we hope to be up and running again ASAP!
xog

success!

2007-07-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

I've been MIA the last few days. I was gearing up for a big meeting we had last night at the co-op. We had to pass a resolution with all the members in order to be able to borrow the ginormous amount of money we need to fix the building. The amount of paperwork and preparation and "officialness" that goes into the whole process is amazing. And not in a good way. But, I'm learning a lot and last night all went well and the resolution was unanimously passed. Hooray! We are going to get our building FIXED! No more leaks and no more mould! It will be a long process, but we're further along than we have been yet. Good news, very good news. And just another thing to add to my plate. Heck...what's one more thing!?

What else? No time to write cause I'm up to my brain socket in work (both salaried and freelance and personal).

Here's my dare for this week. I love that lil Jaxon face. I wanna squeeze it. Where does the time GO exactly???

xoxog

Gratitude:
Being early today was so rewarding. At 6:55am we were sitting in the car in the parking lot of Jaxon's daycare waiting for the lady to come and open it and I asked him if he wanted to wait in the car or go play in the playground. He chose to go play, and asked me to push him on the tire swing. He had so much fun...showing me how he jumps off it as it slows down. The huge grin on his face lit up my own and left happy in my heart that is still sitting there.

takin you way back. back into time.

2007-07-17T15:46:00.001-07:00

My sisters and mother (decidedly not dressed up) and I on Saturday night. Why do we look like a bad scene from the 80s? This was the scene all over Rhi's house as she hosted a "Stuck in the 80s" party for her man. Aren't we divine? I especially like how somehow all the shots are so badly set up that they actually could be from the 80s. Just like us. There was a live band (consisting of the brother in law and his compadres...just a tiny bit rusty but super fun) and we jammed to the 80s all night. The police came (hmmmm...live band perhaps?) and we had mini burgers and nachos and potato skins and jello tequila shooters and long island ice teas. Yowza. I did lots of hair, which was actually the most fun, and I decided that night that I really should have been a makeup artist. As long as I could do purple and pink and blue eye shadow on everyone and use at least a bottle and a half of Final Net, I'd be a hot commodity.

hot stuff.

Gratitude:
For my FedEx Ground shipment being ready to go and out of my hair. It was a bitch to put together. Now please no one lose it.

kind of freaking out over here!!!

2007-07-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

It's all about grateful today (and yesterday too, when this arrived):
are we not loving the matte cover w/ glossy accents? indeed, we are. YUM!

a friend

2007-07-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

To have a friend, you have to be a friend.

Gratitude:
For good friends.

beeeeeeeotch!

2007-07-11T22:12:00.000-07:00

So. I've thought about the subject of swearing (or cursing as the americans say) on my blog. Truth be told, I'm a little bit of a big huge potty mouth in real life. Yes, as a mother, I have learned to say "potty mouth". I don't know how I've done it, but I've managed to keep it in check almost fully in front of kids (on the rare occasion that I've slipped, Jaxon will whip his curly head around and look me right in the eye and scowl and say "I heard that"). Get me rambling or talking about something I'm passionate about or maybe even just sitting around shooting the shit with my girlfriends and/or sisters, or just after hanging up with a hugely annoying and profoundly dumb client...foul-mouthed G comes out to play. Whatever...I won't go off on a tangent here, but if I bust out a "curse" word here and there, just know that it comes from me - typing out something that flies into my head and that means it's real and it's just who I am. Really, I guess everything here is just me. I've thought about leaving myself out there for the world to peek in at should they choose, all the while at times treating this like my own personal journal I can tuck back into its place once I'm done (ie: once I hit "publish post"). Crazy thing, this online journalling is.

OK...and that's enough feeling like a bitch for this bitch wednesday.

WINNER! of stamps & paper goodness.....

jen paddack-hyde said...

another lurker:) Been reading your blog for a while now:) I've been thinking I need to do a daily gratitude too. Love reading yours:)

10:24 AM

Jen email me w/ your addy!

Gratitude? It's hard when you feel like you're melting (yes, Meghan, I still think it's hot. You're in the DESERT, remember?) Megs is doing wicked with her photography thing. She's got a wicked eye and I love it. I'm grateful today that my friend Meg is working on something she' lovin. <3

goooood stuff.

2007-07-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I was featured as the guest blogger on the Fiskateers blog. I won't go into great detail here, since I wrote a LOT on that post, but it was really REALLY a neat experience because it got me back to thinking about the key stuff I'm thinking about and doing lately. Today I stopped by there to read peoples' comments and they were really nice to read.

The book is just over a month away from release! I have butterflies in my tummy to see it in person. We were so pushy with our wonderful editor and the folks @ Memory Makers books to get it "just right". We wanted a certain look and feel...we really wanted the book to reflect US. From what I've seen, I really think it does....I cannot wait!

People have asked and emailed about where to get the papers I designed. I know I mention Lazar all the time, but just in case you wanted a direct link, here you go: buy cellular, or buy organic.

Also, in an effort to get my ass to the post office, I'm giving away each paper line to one random winner. AND the same person will also win one each of my new stamps!
Painty Splats
Painted Spots and Squares
Creative Wordage

Leave a comment to be included in the drawing! (or just because you want me to feel the love)

Now that we've taken care of business...

Gratitude:
For routine. I do love the more spontaneous random side of myself I have discovered since being with Dren (he's a tad more casual than I...yeah just a tad) but I'm just that type. I think it's referred to as "A". While the weather is amazing like this, I'm really going to try to get up earlier and go for a boot around the lake. Key word: try. It's all I can do....

i need a nap

2007-07-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

It's 9:33am and I need a nap real bad.
Up too late, ate too much food, drank too much wine=seriously not happy Monday Gen.
BBQs are wonderful and fun and all of that.
They just need to be a little more controlled and perhaps on Saturday.
Or perhaps I could just get a clue and go home at 10 next time.
It's suuuper breezy and beautiful outside. GORGEOUS.
Please lord, teleport me to the beach with a pillow like now.
Besides, work is not busy. They don't need me here.

Gratitude:
Sunshine!!! And time to catch my breath. And naps. Even though I'm not having one right now.

friiiiidaaaaay!

2007-07-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

yeehaw!
what to say what to say? i'm tired. i'm counting the minutes til quittin' time. hot. sushi for lunch was most delicious. need new music. bad. suggestions? feeling like scrapbooking. love the blue sky and the butterflies. little bits of breeze are so nice. need to get a bike. so over work for the week.
dare-age:

how cute is that little man clip? so cute. can't wait to show this to carmichael. i think he'll be happy. must work on making some sort of a late-night photo studio in my house. perhaps i can take over part of the kitchen for that?

Gratitude:
I work for my sister & brother-in-law's company. Yes, there have been many many challenges and obstacles to overcome because of this, but lots of benefits too. Today, for example, I said to Rhi "can I go take a steam shower because my skin is hating this weather" and so I did. She's go this amazing shower - it's got a waterfall thingy and a regular hose thingy and then steam. OMG SO incredible. my skin is still baby soft. I used all her lovely products and awesome face stuff. Wicked. Then I went back to work! :) I hope everyone has a lovely weekend...xog

still sweating

2007-07-05T18:11:00.001-07:00

seriously...i think the ozone has been depleted since last year by tenfold. i'm HOT. (sizzlesizzle). not that i'm complaining. kind of.

CHECK IT:

That's my paper on page 25 of the July issue of Memory Makers mag! Huge thank you to Kelly S. who commented to let me know! Of course I was running late after work, have a bunch of co-op stuff to do, a meeting tonight and had to stop in at my fave mag store (it's called Does Your Mother Know? <--- rad name, yes?) and they had 2 copies! Snapped one up and the traffic was bad enough that I could find it and glance through a bit more of the issue as well.

Gratitude:
Soooooo grateful for scrapbooking. If it weren't for scrapbooking, I would not be the same person. I have met real true, honest-to-goodness friends, had the opportunity to design product (and then see it and use it!), re-found my love of art (painting, getting messy, experimenting, growing), all the while documenting my life and the life of my family and friends. I would not have a blog, for God's sake! :)

i have not forgotten

2007-07-04T16:58:00.000-07:00

let's get to some bitchin!

i'm a melting, sweaty mess. even if i felt like putting makeup on in the morning (which i don't) it would be gone because i'm that melty. EW. i need a cabana boy with an extra large palm leaf immediately.

head filling up with TO-DOs (in turn, this often leads to overwhelmed gen, and from time to time a serious meltdown). must. try. to. not. melt. down.

NERVOUS that our co-op membership will meet the proposal of having FOUR mortgages with much resistance. i don't blame them, but our building is leaky and we have to get it fixed. loan proposal is tonight, but we won't know for sure until the 19th. being the chair of the board at this particular time is a bit stressful, to say the least.

needing a pedicure like no-one's business.

solo time has come to a close. time to pick up the boy and try to not pass out on the way.

bitchbitchbitch. yay!

Gratitude:
Caught up on 187 emails today. What a load off.

SURPRISE!!

2007-07-03T16:16:00.000-07:00

my new stamps - just got 'em from chris on friday!
these are based of the actual hand-carved stamps i made to create my paper lines!

had a great weekend but yesterday evening started to feel crappy and ended up with some sort of stomach bug. ugh. home today...slept most of the day away hoping to feel better, but i wanted to post cause of being MIA (totally away from the computer for a few days...it was nice) and to share the stamps with you. hope my canadian friends had a great weekend and happy 4th to my american buddies! xoxog

gratitude:
so grateful to have finally gotten my balcony back together (long, boring story) and having friends over to sit on it and enjoy the flowers & greenery & lights. love it.

damn girl

2007-06-29T15:16:00.000-07:00

by JT is the bomb-diggity. Everything is the bomb-diggity these days. That's what Jaxon thinks, and that's what I think so it must be true. He's been incessantly watching Shark Tale. So that means he's talking like a Jamaican jellyfish, or sometimes like his father. This morning he told me that on a field trip with his class he said to a kid "yo mon, wha do you rude yout?" (ie: yo man, why'd you do that you rude youth?)(or something) I'm not exactly a speaker of Jamaican patwa, but hearing my 5 year old pick up phrases that I normally hear from my husband is both bizarre and hilarious all at the same time. And I seem to slowly be picking them up myself.

So I was going through old baby photos of J (the kind I used to get printed in hard copy at the photo finishing place) and scanned a bunch cause I want to start scrappin' 'em. Sweet dude. Now for some printage this weekend and we'll be in business. How is THIS one for a heart-breaker!? He must have been super fresh (like a month at the most) here and he only slept on us. Talk about serious bonding time. And how do you like the leopard-spotted fuzzy blanket? Don't be jealous.

Tonight I'm heading over to Christina's house for pizza and also to dig her out from piles and piles of product that need to be packed and shipped. Jaxon and Carmichael will come and chase the Lulu kitty and watch Bluray discs on T's playstation. They will be in heaven.

Happy Canada Day! If you're not from Canada, head on up. We have Monday off.

Gratitude:
Today I'm grateful for Friday and long weekends. (duh).

he's done!

2007-06-28T14:40:00.000-07:00

As of today at 11:15am, Jaxon is officially graduated from kindergarten. What a little pumpkin. He's worked so hard and it's paying off. He's reading, writing, and has hugely improved fine motor skills. I was able to drop him off today for his last day (which meant we had such a nice, slow morning together) and his wonderful teacher handed me a huge folder filled with all sorts of his work from January on. Stories and pictures and his reading folder. A poetry book and bits and pieces of math (counting, measuring, sorting). Brought a grin to my cheeks and a giggle to my throat. And just a tiny tear to my eye. I'm very, very proud today.

Gratitude:
For teachers everywhere who care about children and do their best to help them learn. You amaze me.

wednesday shall be bitch day

2007-06-27T13:13:00.000-07:00

I have been very upbeat and positive and while I think that's a great thing and positive thinking and critical thinking have helped me (a lot) I don't want to fool anyone into thinking that I am always happy-bubbly-go-lucky girl. Anyone who has read my blog more than for the past week would know that anyway. But still. While I'm on the "upswing" I would like to keep a realistic perspective. I get grumpy, I have PMS, I'm a total klutz and things piss me off. So while thinking about how irritated I was this morning and having funny witty things to say to Josh (my co-worker) about our wonderful clients, I realized that I can get it out and not have it be a total downer. It is not all good in the hood.

Bitch Wednesdays are born.

I am such a klutz that it really doesn't phase me much when I whack my (insert applicable body part here) on (insert applicable hard item here, usually a door frame, railing, cupboard door, desk, car steering wheel, etc.). I just say "ow" or "ouch" and move on. Today I have an unusually sore spot on the part of my hand that is hard (not the palm but the back do we call it?)...nearly where it meets the wrist. I examine it. There is no huge amount of swelling or a bruise really, but mousing makes it hurt and so does pressing on it (trying to figure out exactly what is going on there). I vaguely remember whacking it on something and rubbing it really hard. Yes, I'm sure that's what happened. I have bruises all over my legs. Usually not shin ones like Jaxon gets - mine are more desk level and bum level. Those would be bum bruises then, not leg ones. I realize that.

I have a headache today and I don't feel like taking anything for it. I'm such a pill-popper and today I'm seeing if lots of water will do the trick. What a matyr.

Some people are so dumb. Talking with customers on the phone who don't know their own project title (as in, filling out order forms, asking "project title? what's that?"). Listen mister...if you don't know what the project is called, you probably a) should not be allowed to do said project, or b) should not be in charge of filling out order forms for said project. If you are over 15 and can read, I should not have to help you fill out the order forms. Seriously.

My house is a friggin disaster and while I want it to be clean I have no desire (and I mean none) to clean it. Normally I'm a cleaner. If it's messy to the point of bugging me, I clean. I no longer bitch and nag and insist we split up the chores into some sort of regular routine. Let's face it - he needs a uniform to wear to work and my supply of clothes is practically endless (well, it won't run out before his will, anyway) so he gets stuck with the laundry and that's a pretty big chore. The rest just isn't worth fighting over. Maybe I'll clean today when I get home. But also maybe not.

I have no childcare for before and after school come September. I'm seriously stressing.

I would much rather be at home playing. I surfed a bit this morning and read blogs and totally procrastinated and wasted time. I should probably get back to work, but really all I want to do after receiving mountains of inspiration is go home. To my messy house. Put on my headphones and drown myself in a bucket of gesso and paper.

Gratitude ('cause even pissed off people can be grateful)
Today, I'm grateful that my seriously dirty hair looks really cute all piled on top of my head. At least, I think so.

back!

2007-06-26T11:10:00.001-07:00

AWESOME weekend.
Here is a brief summary in poor-quality photos.
(I spent much more time actually enjoying the experience than capturing it)

cool shot that Colleen got on the way down

the suite. high ceilings, fireplace, hot tub, balcony...superb.

cheers-ing in the hot tub. opening the wine w/out a corkscrew is another story.

leaving the one, the only claim jumper, leftovers in tow. (i <3 claim jumper)

driving. look - it's us in that shadow! (i <3 highway driving)

leaving. drove back amidst some very strange weather.

Serious fun was had by all.
Played blackjack for the first time. Loved it (uh oh).
Laughed (a TON)
Slept (a little)
Room service breakfast (the best)
Shopped at Target (twice)
Ate (bad but good food)
Drove (a lot)

Yay for girlfriend getaways!

Gratitude:
I'm grateful today for the lessons I am learning and re-learning as I teach them to my child. I didn't realize that having a child could be such a huge catalyst to living a better life and becoming a better person.

my toenails are red :)

2007-06-22T14:47:00.000-07:00

A couple of shots of the 20x20wip...they're not great, but they are what they are, and they're recording stages and moments. The life of a painting. We're at the stage where there are masking tape strips on the painting. They will come off. They better come off!

In all my excitement yesterday, I forgot to post my gratitude bit. So today, I'll post two.

Gratitude:
1. So very grateful to look out my window at work and be able to see eagles soaring. Around and around in circles without one flap of their wings. It's very relaxing.
2. Super grateful that my sister is willing to have both Jax and Carmichael over for a sleepover so that Colleen & I can get away for the weekend. Family rocks.

Have a fabulous weekend.
xog

soSOso excited

2007-06-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

Leaving tomorrow night for a girls' weekend. EEEEK! (sometimes my caps lock key goes on all by itself...I think my 'puter has a ghost. for the eeeek! it seemed appropriate though. good job ghost!)

Me, Dee & Colleen. My co-op buddies. This is SO needed and we are all excited beyond belief. An executive suite at a casino resort. I don't gamble, but I'm gonna get my toes wet for the first time! (can you believe I went to Vegas and didn't gamble not even a nickel??) There is a jacuzzi spa in our room, two TVs, a dual-sided fireplace, two restaurants and a pub right in the building. We might not even leave the hotel! An all-out-super-duper-girly-fun-self-indulgent weekend. Just what the doctor ordered, I do believe!

Tonight I'm sharing my this week's dare, as well as a page for the challenges going on over at 'ologie. The dare this week is "love at first sight" and i twisted my page up a bit. I'll post the journalling (hidden behind the white cardstock behind the transparency in the top left corner.

Journalling: Tonight it was the East India Pale Ale from the Brooklyn Brewery in the cute packaging. A new beer and a new experiment. 5 years and 8 months ago it was baby Jaxon. Falling head over heels in love with him. Love and first sight indeed. You don't need to ask me twice. Nope.

For the Pick Me Up! challenge at 'ologie, I've been keeping it simple. Just trying to get back into the groove of scrapbooking without feeling like I'm just making a big mess (note above dare page...fits into said mess category).

Last night I watched Conversations with God. A self-help book (which it originally really was) in movie form. But fictional. So very interesting. At times a bit slow...but try to slow down with it. Take time to think about the messages. Apply them or discard them at your will, but it was nice to just slow down by myself for long enough to absorb the movie. Tonight, I'll be watching Griffin & Phoenix.

And working on the painting! I got all excited and got working yesterday without taking a photo :( but tonight I'll take one even though there's no light. I'm excited about tonight's step and to see if it fixes what I think I screwed up last night. Yeah, oops.

OK! I'm taking my laptop with me this weekend 'cause I want to stay in touch and I'm sure there will be some serious down-time in the hotel drinking & eating room service and chatting, so it will be fun to pop on. We are in the executive suite, keep in mind. I better do something executive-ish, like use a laptop.

xog

driving + lots of scraps

2007-06-20T14:28:00.000-07:00

I came in to work extra early today to get caught up on some stuff. I drove in while the morning sun shone its special morning light and there were hardly any cars on the road. It was a tiny little piece of heaven. I got to work and was greeted by a brand-spankin new operating system on my computer (good) and all my preferences and presets so not there (bad). Good thing I came in early...certainly not caught up. Blech.

Ready to be smacked in the face with a bunch of pages and stuff? The first bunch are all using the June 'ologie kit. Such good times, as usual. The girl seriously knows how to thrown down some serious kit action.

Then, there's a thing I did for the Lazar Street Team challenge for June (they forgot about me but I harassed them enough to put it up):

We were to use a digital product from Lazar and a manilla folder. Because I'm superduper lucky (and happen to live in the same location as the fabulous owner of said company) I added some other Lazar goodies in for good measure. And used my typewriter for the first time in a long time. And made a mistake. But I don't care. Live, learn, move on.

I worked some more on the 20x20 last night too. Have to take some shots before I work on it today. Really, I should clean the bathroom. But painting is so much more fun!

Gratitude:

really, need i say more?

little miss sunshine

2007-06-19T15:30:00.000-07:00

That's me today. Little Miss Sunshine. I think it's just amazing how the weather can affect my mood(ssss).

Lately, I have sucked at scrapbooking. I just feel that way. Whatever. It goes that way sometimes I guess. I dug up an old challenge from March @ 'ologie and pumped this one out in about 5 minutes last night. No text, no journalling, no title, not much of anything except the 5 items we were challenged to use. And a photo. Simple. Forcing myself to get back to my roots - back to basics...think about the design. And I actually like it. I've been having so much fun altering things and making minis and painting that I'm scared to scrapbook. Or when I do I for some reason feel like I need my scrapbooking and other stuff to "match". That doesn't work for me. That's no good. Green cardstock, a swirly something, a star, some tape, and one brad:

Then, fun times with Lu over at the studioWERX Streat Team blog. Boo-ya baby! I needed a kick in the ass last night to make something. Pulled out my journal, got messy w/ gesso and used some fave POD stampage. Again, just simple. Getting free and messy, but in a structured way...thinking about placement and colours. This journal is an old photo album with all the photos taken out but some of the corners left in place:

And, more on the 20x20. Threw another layer on last night. I really love to paint. Wouldn't it be cool to have a whole wall of your house all textured like this? That's a dream. Maybe not red...that might make me crazier than I already am.

Gratitude:
Simple pleasures...the iced latte on my desk right now. Yum.

wip:twenty by twenty

2007-06-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

My new work in progress...a 20"x20" canvas. This is my sister Aley's Christmas present. Christmas of 2006, to be exact. I think I will take photos of the process throughout. I saw it leaning on the chair and was struck by the bold colour. I love red.

SUCH a monday. UGH. Was so tired all day. So.....

Gratitude: Today I'm grateful for coming home to a house where the dishes were done, the carpets were vacuumed, the laundry was done...and where I'm about to get a massage. Wicked end to such a Mondayish Monday.

Sunday, June 17

2007-06-17T22:43:00.000-07:00

Gratitude:
Today I'm feeling extremely grateful I have a husband who is a wonderful father.

ahhh...the weekend.

2007-06-16T10:09:00.002-07:00

Gratitude:
It's Saturday. I'm grateful for the weekend and being able to spend some much-needed quality time with the boys.

The big one has to work tonight, but we'll be enjoying the middle part of the day today. Heading off to Loomis in just a few minutes. They are donating some product for me to use in my Crop 4 Kids classes - yay for generous and wonderful sponsors! J will get a new colouring book as a bribe to pull him away from Saturday morning cartoons. Speaking of...must go and encourage the shoe-puttonage. xog

slammajamma

2007-06-15T15:51:00.000-07:00

work is insaaaane! oh well, makes the day go by faster. especially when i'm feeling the beer from the night before. badly. maridee and i went for a stroll through our 'hood last night...checked out her husband's childhood home. so cool.

here's a sneek of a lil sumpin.

Gratitude:
Today I'm grateful for the blue sky trying so hard to make an appearance. I'm grateful for the fact that we are in spring and moving towards summer and for flowers. I'm also grateful for amazing friendships I'm blessed with. Also, it's the weekend and I'm grateful for that too. Today, I'm extra grateful.

thursday

2007-06-14T16:11:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple more things I did on top of the Dare layout last week (hopefully that link will work). We were sponsored last week by the Story of My Life kit club. Such a fun kit...I had to just keep playing! Harajuku lovers theme for reals. You can see the rest of the mini album her e.

The mid-month gallery @ ologie goes up tomorrow. I'm super stoked about it because once again, Ranjini rocked out and provided a kit that, well, makes a girl wanna scrap! And did I ever...

Gratitude
Today I am grateful for Jaxon being in kindergarten with a great teacher who takes them on field trips, like the one they went on today to the beach. The boy's backpack was fuller than it's ever been, with a bucket, 3 different digging devices, shorts, change of clothes, sunscreen, a hat, and lunch. Good times.

Seeking: One Still Life

2007-06-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

Yeah, right. In my dreams maybe.

While it is the opinion of plenty (and often mine as well) that I am entirely too busy, I do thrive on busy as long as I don't let it overwhelm me. I'm realizing that stuff has been overwhelming me lately. But I am in control. So, time to make some changes. I'd like to try to write on my blog every day. It will be a check-in with myself. A "grounding" mechanism. The whole gratitude concept has been somewhere in my mind for years - ever since an ancient episode of Oprah, where she talked about keeping a gratitude journal. Each and every day I will be grateful. For something. Small or large...silly or serious. Just something. I'm sick to death of continually thinking about and writing about how busy I am. Stop making excuses and do something about it.

I want to keep my goals in mind...short terms and long term. Wants and needs. Prioritize. But keep striving and achieving. Because that's what makes me feel happy and fulfilled. Happy & fulfilled Gen = better woman, wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter...a better me. Self care. It's been lacking lately.

Wanted: A Bit of Routine
To get me on track.

Coming soon: A Ton of Stuff I've Been Making
Because I have been incredibly focused creatively lately. And for that I am grateful.

light/tunnel

2007-05-31T15:49:00.000-07:00

One heckuva week, it's been. In some ways, 4 days of sick kid seems to have gone so fast...tomorrow is Friday already! In some ways, not so much. There is something about a sick kid that feels like it's never going to end. There's something about finding out that he's got an ear infection and the beginning of a throat infection and is prescribed antibiotics and is about 75% recovered within 24 hours that is such a relief.

Yesterday I couldn't sleep, thinking about all of the work waiting for me and what were we going to do, knowing Jaxon wouldn't be ready for school. I woke up around 3:00 and started work at 4:00ish. This morning, I arrived at work at 6:00. Trying to get in as much time as I could before racing home to relieve Dren so he could leave for work at 10:40. Squeezing every possible second out of the day. I've been tired, but also happy and highly productive. The same thing happened the last time J was sick. We spend so much GOOD time together. He said to me on Tuesday "I love the way you take care of me when I'm sick mama." I said "Oh yeah? How's that?" He said "It's just so great." Being a parent is tough sometimes, but oh-so rewarding.

We're going to go outside and do some planting in a bit. Seeing as how he's 75% better and all...let's get some fresh air.

Spring bouquet from Aunty Aley's garden:

shhhhhh

2007-05-29T11:48:00.000-07:00

home with a sick kid today. it's beautiful out...keeping a close eye for the steam-cleaners who are coming to give our building a facelift...at which point i'll have to run and close all the windows and doors. j's had a headache and fever off and on for a couple of days. no fun :(

this morning i was listening to the radio and heard about this. there's a bunch of commercial hype because it is, afterall, a product, but the core concept is one i find really interesting. going to do some more reading about that. i love wikipedia.

so it's time to answer a few questions....

stephaniehowell said...
shoot, i missed the questions??

here are a couple-
what makes you really, truly happy?
what are you the most proud of?
what makes you laugh the hardest?

Happy? There are so many things! Especially right now as spring has sprung and the weather is getting warmer and warmer. I love having fresh flowers in the house...the life and colour and brightness they bring really does make me happy. I am happyhappyhappy when I have a clean house. I'm happy when I'm making art, or when I'm in a bubble bath with a glass of champagne (<---this doesn't happen hardly ever...maybe once in my life...hmmm...i should do that more!). But honestly, my truest happiness comes when I'm spending time with people I love. It has to be complete, 100% dedicated time...that's the only time you will ever really enjoy I think...when you're utterly and totally invested in it. Laughing with my boys (happens constantly), chatting with mum, hanging with my sisters or friends.

Proud. I'm so incredibly proud of the job that Dren and I are doing together as parents. Jaxon is an incredible human being. We are raising him to be a good person. It's so important to me that he is kind to people and animals, that he is aware of how his actions/choices affect others. Sometimes it's a really REALLY tough job. People tell me that they like Jaxon...that makes me so proud.

It's always in interacting with people that I find myself in stitches. Jaxon and I goof around together (a lot). Dren will sometimes say something funny that I haven't hear 95000 times before and we will spend 10 minutes just howling. I have a great little group of friends who understand eachother completely...we are sarcastic and scandalous and we are forever making eachother crack up with random digs and insults. Sigh. I love to laugh.

Thanks Steph baby!

Angela said...

Hi there! I love reading your blog, and check in here all the time so maybe I should actually leave more comments and not be such a lurker! LOL

Here are a couple of ?'s for you:
if you could be a famous entertainer(actor or singer, from the past or present), who would you be?
what is your favorite smell?
what is the last thing you thought before falling asleep last night?

Hi Angela! (you lurker)

WOW...that's a hard question! If I could be a famous entertainer.....I'm thinking it would have to be an actress, but I've never thought about being someone else before. I can think of half a dozen actresses and singers whose work I love...but that doesn't necessarily mean I know them or know what there life is/was like and that I'd want to be them. Am I making this much more difficult than it needs to be? OKOK...then let's say Julia Roberts for the down-to-earthednessish thing she's got going on along with her talent and charm...Drew Barrymore for her fun, cute, quirkyness and talent genes, Angelina Jolie for her humanitarian side (ok fine and for her lips and cheekbones)(oh, and minus the husband-stealing bit), Audrey Hepburn for her classic beauty and my fave of that era. In other words, I suck at this question. Ha!!

Mmmm...I love scent. I loooove candles & air fresheners that are not too overpowering. I like mildly sweet. Exotic essential oil from the Body Shop is one of my all-time faves. I like melon/cucumber sort of combos...some things that say they are "rainshower" scented, and currently have the citrus cilantro reed diffuser from pier 1 still rockin. YUM. Apparently "what is your favourite..." is going to get a variety of responses from me. This is because I can never make up my mind about anything...well, most things. I can't even make up my mind about whether I can make up my mind.

Last night before I fell asleep I thought "I hope Jaxon is feeling better in the morning". Ha! again.

Kelly S. said...

yum Apricot beer....
Ok I have a question-
Why did you start scrapping?
How did you meet your sweetie?

Why I started scrapping. Huh. Well, I was big into making cards and "found" a little scrapbooking store I could start buying a huge, beautiful array of cardstock. Then a friend and I checked out another store and they had Cathy Zielske's first book and I was so drawn into the way she put these stories together about her kids and family. Not the actual stories, but the design of the pages. The graphic designer in me was totally inspired and after thinking about it for a few days, I went back and bought the book. I figured I would use it for inspiration for card-making. I love her use of typography and colour and her photography alone is totally inspirational. So I started actually reading some of what she had to say...the text of the book and the journalling. I read the stuff in the back and checked out a couple of her fave links. One happened to be 2 Peas in a Bucket. Well, as a lot of you will know...that was the beginning of the end for me! It still took me a few weeks of cruising around, but it was also post-Jaxon, so it didn't take too long before I was a scrapbooking fool.

Dren and I met at school. Douglas College, to be precise. Quite a funny, only-slightly-less-embarrassing-as-I-get-older story. I had spotted him several times around campus. Hi. I mean...he's totally hot. One morning in the cafeteria we exchanged a look and a smile (he doesn't remember...I do...oh do I ever). I had been broken up with my ex at the time for approximately 2 weeks and was officially, definitely, committedly, single. I wanted no part of a relationship. But apparently that didn't deter me from noticing that he was sitting by himself in a computer lab in the room next to my classroom on my way in one morning.

As I sat with my friends waiting for class to start, I could NOT stop thinking about him...about how school was almost over and I might never see this guy ever again. I left our classroom and went next door. I sat myself down a couple of rows behind him. I was trying to figure out how to send a message to his computer (we had figured this out and had lots of fun with it during class)...but I couldn't do it that time for some reason. So I typed up a note and printed it out. Walked up to the printer, grabbed the paper, folded it like 8 times and walked up to him. I stood in front of the table where he was and said "Hi. Can I give you something to read?", and he said "Uhmm...ookaay..." (like who is this weirdo!?). I handed him the note and practically ran away. I did not introduce myself or engage in any sort of conversation whatsoever. Clearly, I was not practiced at picking guys up. At all. I had never in my entire life approached a guy.

I booked it back to my room where the instructor was getting set up, and whispered what I had done to a friend next to me. I let her read my note and she thought I was absolutely insane. That helped my insecure, embarrassed, what-the-hell-did-I-just-do feeling immensely. That afternoon he paged me (...all the cool kids had pagers in those days) and I had no idea what his name was from his message. I let my two best friends at the time hear the message and we sat brainstorming as to what his name might be.

Brent? It has to be Brent. But it really sounds like Gren. What the hell kind of name is GREN?? So there was more embarrassment when I phoned him back and hesitantly asked for Gren. Yeah. He then explained his nickname Dren and we chatted for like 45 minutes while he walked his dog. For the most part, the rest is history....we talked every day, had a first date and saw eachother almost everyday afterwards.

I was 21. He was 28. It was March, 1999.

Thanks for asking Kelly S...that was a fun trip down memory lane...I should break out somma those old 1999 pix methinks!

OK off to try to get this kid to eat or at the very least drink a little something. He's fully immersed in Arthur and the Invisibles. Great show.

What's the sitch?

2007-05-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness for red lights and a quick shoving of the heads together for a snapshot of us on our 4 year anniversary. I simply cannot train the boy to look at the lens rather than the screen thingy. Here, the one and only existing photo us from last night.

We saw a play called Unity 1918 at the Waterfront Theatre on Granville Island. It was kind of funny, kind of interesting, and kind of good. Put on by the Senior Theatre Troupe of Arts Umbrella, the story was about "the panic of a Saskatchewan prairie town during the Spanish flu epidemic of 1918. This dark comedy explores the drastic meausres taked to keep the illness out." As mum said this morning "it's really more about the experience of going". Totally true. We will be getting out to see more local shows. We talked about that at dinner...what we would like to work on in the upcoming year. Changes, continutations and wants.

We had dinner at The Sandbar. The outdoor patio is situated under the Granville Street Bridge...a totally cool combo of city and serene. We got the last table for two right next to the glass, overlooking the water and the downtown side of False Creek. It was a gooorgeous night. You know things are looking up weather-wise when you can be wearing a strappy top at 10:30pm on a patio by the water.

Thank you for the well-wishes for us and for my mum. They kept her in again last night. J and I visited yesterday after work. She is doing well; her heart seems much calmer and under control. What a relief. She's a bit irritated at staying in the hospital ("I really need to get home") but she understands that it's for the best. Let me tell you though, if they don't discharge her this morning, they better look out! Seems to be just a need for adjusting her meds and due to a change they had to monitor her a bit.

So we got home at midnight and picked up J from Colleen's house (snatched him right out of his slumber, poor lil spongebob-clad dude). Stayed up til 2ish completing this week's dare (not that it took me 2 hours...). I think the fog may be lifting. Do you know I realized that all I've really been doing is playing with paint and glue and working on one 'ologie project for like the last 2 weeks?? I haven't actually done any scrapbooking with photos in a long time. So, I think I need to. I love photos and I'm re-realizing that. Here's this week's Dar e brought to you by ever fine and fabulous scooter-lovin, New York-trippin Jamie:

Not entirely thrilled, but it's fine and colourful and I think helped open my brain back up again. Open brains are good.

*update! Mum just called me and it looks like she can be discharged! One more blood test and hopefully she'll be sent on her merry way.

I hope the sunshine lasts (although there is a chance of showers I hear) and I hope everyone has an awesome weekend (awesome LONG weekend to my 'merican buddies).

xoxog

night-time

2007-05-23T22:59:00.000-07:00

It's time to think and reflect. Time to be tired. Time to interact, or not. Time to relax. Time to feel stuck, and to practice that good ol' cognitive behaviour therapy. Critical thinking.

Feeling a little bit less-than-stellar these days. Not unhappy...just kind of...edgy. Not like PMS edgy, but restless. Fidgety. UNinspired. But I'm working through it. Fighting through it. Trying new and different things. Taking breaks. But also forcing myself. I have a couple things I gotta get done and then several things I want to get on to. So c'mon. Work with me here, brain/body/spirit. Ya know??

Mum's back in the hospital tonight. She is just not feeling comfortable...her heart rate is not normalizing, not feeling comfortable. More than likely, her medication has to be adjusted. But I didn't go to emerg with her tonight. And now I feel sad that she's in the hospital overnight (because they're messing with her meds they have to keep her for observation) and she's alone. I wish that I could have seen her and talked to her...just been there to have kept her company. I wonder if that's for my sake or for hers. Anyway. I'll call first thing tomorrow...hopefully Rhi will go see her during the day and then I'll go after work.

Tomorrow is me & Dren's 4 year anniversary. We have plans, and I'm sure they'll still happen despite mum's jag in the road to heart recovery...Think good thoughts everyone!

Love you mama.

xog

Oh - and yes, I will answer the other questions asked...just not tonight.

orange bikes

2007-05-18T21:58:00.001-07:00

This is definitely one of my favourite photos from the last several months. I get so discouraged from taking pictures in the winter. It's dark when I leave the house in the morning, it's dark when I get home, and on the weekends it's either raining or threatening to rain or too dark to take pictures. OK, I might be exagerating slightly. But I just get blah about it. The other day I was waiting for a friend outside a shop and this image immediately caught my eye. I mean, how often is it that you're going to see an orange bicycle and an orange motorcycle parked like this? Not often, that's for sure. The people sitting at the pub patio I think thought I was a little bit nuts, taking different angles and...so many shots. It was fun. Do you know I once pretended I was crazy because I had to wait for the bus at night in a shady area of town? I really didn't want the other crazy people and dealers and junkies approaching me. It totally worked. I'm sure that's the moment I realized being crazy is not necessarily a bad thing.

I got asked a total of two questions on yesterday's post. Fabulous. I think K asked if I wanted to eat Jaxon because he's so cute. The answer to that is most definitely YES. I want to pinch his lil cheeks and squeal at him and slurp him right up and maybe even nibble a lil bit too. But I don't, because now that he's 5 and cool and all, that would be totally an uncool mama type of thing to do. And the other questions came from someone anonymous. Right then...

how long did it take for you to come into your scrapbooking style? If you could have a day off from being a mom, what would you choose to do? Favorite comfort food?

Hmmm...style to me is for sure an ever-evolving thing. Sometimes I look at my stuff and think "this is so not me". As far as how long it took me to get to a point where I thought honestly that I don't want to do what I'm "supposed" to do or told to do from books and articles, it took me a few months. I wanted to experiment and mix up art and scrapbooking. There was a day at the very beginning of learning to scrapbook where I wouldn't make a page unless it involved the computer in some way. I couldn't even think about the possibility of hand-writing on a page. I love typography, I'm in graphics for a living...why would I possibly mess things up!? But then it got to a point where I would be all messy from paint and having fun and I couldn't be bothered to get up and go to the computer. Lately, I've started to go back to the computer once in a while for titles and journalling, and it's been fun. So I really think that my style will never be able to be defined as one thing...at least, I won't be able to define it :)

If I had a day off from being Jaxon's mama. I really hope I get a day of from being a wife too. And a daughter, sister, and friend. So if I had one day entirely to myself, I would spend the day prior to it cleaning my house. I would clean and clean and clean so that the next day my house would be all sparkling and organized. I would kick the boys out of the house. Early. I have not one clue what they're going to do all day (we're all such homebodies) but that's really not my problem, because it's my day off. I would use gesso and paint. I might play around on the computer a little bit and probably then I would get all inspired. I would look at photos and write down thoughts as I had them. I would draw and probably glue some stuff down. I'd probably think of someone and make a card for them. I might make a phone call and then I'd make some tea. Or maybe have a beer. I've discovered this super yummy beer from Quebec called St. Ambroise Pale Ale. They also have apricot ale. Mmmm. I might have a snack. I might flip on the TV and see if an rerun of American Justice or Cold Case Files or Project Runway was on. I might remember a movie I'd been wanting to watch and pop it in and then make my way back to my table. I'd listen to jazz and probably DMB. Loud. I'd definitely use stamps and rubons. I'd start to miss my family and wish we had a cat or a dog. And hopefully it would be almost time for the boys to come home. I'd make another phone call and try to finish up a page or a project but the boys would come home and interrupt me. And a sense of annoyance that I wasn't alone anymore would wash over me. But really that's just a habit because I'm really very happy that they're home to keep me company. And that. Would be my ideal day to myself.

Comfort Food? Funny. I just had to answer this question for something else today. Putting a bio together for the Lazar Street Team ...this is gonna be a fun team...nothing like anything else I've done up to this point. So I'll wait til that comes out to share about food. And some other faves.

I'm glad I only had 4 questions to answer from two people. If I had had more, I might be here all damn night!

Now I wanna paint.

G'night.
xog

PS. Banner creds: Lazar Digiwerx Ledger Paper, and Eduardo Recife (I previously said Jason Gaylor - oops) brushes. Finally, the girl has a banner.

PPS. I put the link to pre-order the Dare Book over there to your right! Check out the hot price on that puppy! clearly, amazon is the place to shop. that's good to know.

tuna maki

2007-05-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

holy bad bloggedness. that's me lately. not good at anything really...just cruisin by at all of it. a veritable roller coaster of with it/out of it, happy/not happy, healthy/sick, feeling smart/feeling stupid, feeling boring/feeling fulfilled.

what else? here is a picture of ME according to JAX on mother's day. sigh. my outfit is slammin, i have a big heart, round shoes and am holding fresh flowers. on my shirt. there is nothing else i need in the entire universe.

what else? how about some Q&A? anyone want to know anything about me? i know there have been questions on comments in the past where i thought "oh, i should answer that" and then i forget. so now is your chance. if you have questions, ask them. because you never know...most certainly i will go back to my blog-slacking, boring self if ya don't.

i'm also counting the minutes until the canadian long weekend. ok, maybe not the minutes, but i'm in full-on recognition that tomorrow is friday and then after that the weekend is here. and i'm hoping my flat of flowers and various grasses and succulents (which are not supposed to die but i managed to kill all of last year) survive until i can plant them, hopefully on saturday but more than likely on monday.

i would also like to fully credit the two tuna makis i had at lunch for helping put me in a blogging mood. tuna maki is the shiz.

yay!

2007-05-08T18:41:00.000-07:00

The surprise went off without a hitch. Dren was completely floored and over the moon with happiness all night. Granny (mama) is sufficiently spoiling both of the boys. Fabulous.

The other granny (my mama) is dealing with her heart. A week ago today, she had to go to emergency on our doctor's advice with a very elevated heart rate. Turns out she has atrial fibrillation (Atrial refers to the heart's two upper chambers, the left and right atria. The two lower chambers are called the ventricles. Fibrillating means quivering, or rapid beating.) Sometimes the heart will convert back to normal with help from some drugs, and sometimes it doesn't. So far, unfortunately, it hasn't. Her prognosis is still somewhat uncertain and she may be on meds for a long time. She isn't thrilled (duh) and is definitely up and down. She is used to being strong and healthy and super independent, but also admits that because her mum died when she was a teenager and didn't have much to do with her dad after she moved to Vancouver on her own at 15, she just doesn't know how relationships with aging parents goes. All part of the process for all of us, I guess. It's weird to see her out of breath and feeling so tired. I'm glad she's in good care with her acupuncturist, GP, and heart doctor. We love modern medicine indeed! (with a little ancient Chinese medicine thrown in for good measure too).

So, that's basically what I've been focusing on for the last week.

Toronto granny just made a huge pot of curry so I better clear of a bit of the dining room table. Not to eat at, of course...just so that our guests don't have to trip over scrap stuff.

Phew. Thank goodness for this giant glass of red wine in front of me.

PS! Thanks for all the birthday wishes...Dren got such a kick out of reading your comments!

the best

2007-05-07T09:58:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to you:

The man who has the greatest smile, who tells the dumbest jokes (repeatedly), who loves me & J more than anything and tells us so all the time. The man who is a nerd disguised as a hot guy, who makes the best shepherd's pie in the world and has very expensive taste in birthday presents. The man who will come back to the kitchen and shut the cupboard doors when I yell and who gives the best coziest hugs and doesn't mind when I fall asleep every time we watch a DVD. I love you babe. Happy birthday. (he doesn't read my blog but I'll make him read it later, so he'd I'm sure be really happy if you wanted to say happy birthday...he sometimes feels like he has no friends because he's a video game addict recluse hermit kind of guy and even though that's his own fault, it's his birthday so give him some love)

AND the best surprise of all is that his mama is coming from Toronto to surprise him. She told him she couldn't make the trip and he will DIE when he sees what we've pulled off! We're also making a fabulous seafood/steak dinner in his honour (well, our friend Shelome-the-chef is making it; I'm taking her shopping for ingredients).

happy happy happy!
xog

No breaks

2007-05-02T17:27:00.000-07:00

I never give myself a break. I tell myself "I'll leave that mess, that pile of dishes, that laundry, that whatever until tomorrow. I think I'm letting myself off and giving myself a break, but I'm not really. Because everytime I was past that mess, that pile of dishes, that laundry, that whatever...I torture myself mentally. "Ugh...that is so ugly to look at" "oh you are such a slob" "oh why can't you keep your mouth shut?" "why don't you do your hair anymore". And worse, it's subconscious. I've practiced it so much that it is that silent but deadly self talk. The digs that get under your skin and into your brain without you even knowing it.

Recognition = the first step

There are certain things we must do; our responsibilities and committments. Perhaps I take on too much, but being busy and contributing mean a lot to me. I don't want anything to suffer. And something always does. And so, I continue to strive for balance. I want to participate in the co-op and advocate to get our leaky building fixed. I want to continue to make art and scrapbook. I want to have a clean house and a happy family. I want to spend time with friends and read books. I want to do yoga and have time for a cup of coffee in the mornings. I want to expand my culinary skill and comfort zone. I want a lot and little by little, step by step, I'm gonna get it damnit.

Yours in continually striving for balance,
g

talking to myself

2007-04-30T18:46:00.001-07:00

get off the computer.

happy birthday mum

2007-04-27T06:29:00.000-07:00

this week's dareage:

(I remember where I was when...) The little booklet held by the square brad is where I journalled about snippets that I remembered. They are so random...it's funny how one's memory works. My mama (happy birthday mama!) likened it to a slide show that fell on the floor. Bits and pieces and all mixed up. Anyway, it was cool to do, so do it.

Then a couple from the April Scrapologie kit, which is amaaazing. Loved it with all my heart. Couldn't stop making stuff all last weekend. I posted the rest, including the whole minibook HERE.

Now I command everyone to go away and have a GREAT WEEKEND!
xog

OH! and the knob packaging from my last post held...a knob. You'll see it on an upcoming project ;)

knob

2007-04-24T18:28:00.000-07:00

while it may be one of my most favourite products to get my grubby paws on...the packaging certainly is interesting, to say the least.

hee hee.

well looky he-ah.

2007-04-23T15:46:00.000-07:00

isn't it thrilling!??
(photo courtesy k's blog)

fontwerks explosion

2007-04-19T10:33:00.000-07:00

all over my table.
just a little sumpin that happened the other day...

close-ups

2007-04-11T22:37:00.001-07:00

I love them. I love to see details.

Dare 64 is alive.
Naughty Girls Need Yoga Too.
(and stamps, according to the radical Asta Arts)

Took these lil birdies and used watercolour pencil crayons on them. SO fun.

art IS therapy

2007-04-11T22:28:00.000-07:00

No kidding. It's my thing. That thing that makes me feel better. Bottom line. I have been in a funk a little bit. Not a huge funk, but just kinda blah.

Last night was pseudo Monday (with the real Monday being a holiday and all) and so that was a very Monday-ish night. Neighbours around, kids playing...feeling kind of like it's still the weekend but with that Monday-ish mellow, slightly depressed vibe.

Tonight though, was mine. Something happened today that felt a little bit fateful. So I bit into that and had a really good evening. We had dinner, I said no to Jaxon and meant it and stuck with it and it didn't end in a meltdown and/or a fight, Dren and I joked around as per usual and then Dren put Jax to bed and I watched ANTM and the Canucks and just played.

And it was therapeutic. It was for this week's dare, and what I thought at first was virtually impossible or at the very least very very difficult, I went with it and was led in a completely different direction from what I originally was thinking. But it was therapy and it felt good. And that's what I love about art/scrapbooking/journalling...all that shit. Love it. With a hugely appreciative passion.

xog

amidst the chaos

2007-04-04T20:33:00.000-07:00

Amidst the chaos of what is currently my life...my brain, my co-op, my family, my creative space...

There lies a vase of flowers from my husband. Just 'cause.

Feeling the love. This was last week, and it's still making me happy.

he's shorn!

2007-04-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

my baby got a haircut. his 4th.
he's so cute. i wanna smoosh him.
(with hugs and kisses)
(like that's gonna happen)

do you love the fake smile?
he is such a poser lately...it's hilarious.

working on stuff for the new lazar store tonight. fun!

it's friday kids!

2007-03-30T18:44:00.000-07:00

and i couldn't be more thrilled.
my place is a DUMP and i'm cleanin.
sortin, purgin, cleanin.
IT MUST BE SPRING!!!

dare day yall...
and i want to get my space cleaned up so i can make more fun stuff!!! i'm totally in the mood to make stuff and paint stuff and do stuff...weeee!

i'm kind of challenging people over at scrapologie to get organized...but only because if i put it out there then i hope it will be a good motivation for me to do it too. i've said i'm taking before and after pictures. eek!

gearing up (mentally, for now...creatively later this week) for the opening of the Lazar storefront opening in conjunction with the existing piece of heaven, Ruby Dog's Arthouse. Also, I got the Opus newspaper yesterday in the mail and so I think I need a canvas or 5. And some paint. And I'm also out of gesso. And now I want watercolour paper thanks to Claudine.

i hope everyone has a faaaabulous weekend and if you haven't already, PLEASE donate to ali's badge for autism awareness on your own and also my behalf (can't donate outside the US). she's doing an amazing job of raising money for a great cause and it would be sooo exciting if her badge won. she and all the wonderful people who have donated a minimum of $10 have managed to raise something like $35000 so far! the contest closes sunday. go team go!

xoxog